I'm Paulie Amigo - your authentic, unfiltered, unedited, honest, raw, and genuine amigo. Unlike the fake-as-f*ck hotdogs you call friends, I'm here to give you the truth about your life...specifically, the truth that you suck more than you realize.
Are you aware that you suck? I'm not kidding, you f*cking suck a**. But don't worry, this self-help satire will do everything possible to wake you up and help you live the one life you've got. Your expiration date is approaching, so it's time to try something new before you lose complete control and start flipping out in traffic or eat another pint of ice cream on a Tuesday night. Your honest amigo is here to help you perceive this sh*tshow accurately.
You Suck is filled with stuff that you don't want to hear. Because I didn't pay for an editor who would ensure my voice and script is suitable for a target audience of f*cktards, you can be assured that I'm being genuine to my natural tone. In fact, I could care less if you like the book, because who the f*ck are you anyway? I'm here to help you wake up and I won't sugar coat sh*t (you already have people doing that job). Plus, what are you going to do, give me a one-star review with a scathing comment? I hope you do, because your insulin is dropping and you need to use someone as a punching bag before you freak out in public or insult someone on social media (What would you do without social media? Let's not imagine that fiasco just yet...I'll save that craziness for the book.)
If you're currently addicted to self-help authors, content creators, self-absorbed gurus, podcasters, influencers, or anyone of popularity today (basically anyone with thousands of dumb-as-f*ck followers), this satire will hopefully be a wakeup call and relief.
If you're wondering how I came up with the idea for this book, I read a mindfulness workbook titled "30 Days to Stop Giving a Sh*t." If you haven't tried mindfulness, it'll save you a sh*t ton of time and money. If you don't learn to slow the f*ck down, then you're simply rushing toward a dismissal end.
If you like this book and want to read more content from your authentic amigo (Paulie Amigo), let me know in the comments section. You can even drop suggestions for other content you'd like me to help you with. If you liked my style, please share me with others... post the You Suck cover to your pathetic social media account, use #YouSuckBook and #PaulieAmigo, and tag your favorite influencer, podcaster, and any other snake-oil f*cker you've been hypnotized by for the last year. Let those sh*tbags know that they suck as much as you and I.
(This book received a "1 Star Recognition Award" from the 'Association of Writers Who Don't Give a F*ck' because of its offensive tone, weird tangents, crazy syntax, and selective apathy.)
Author Book Recommendations
30 Days to Stop Giving a Sh*t (Or any of the 30DaysNow.com mindfulness workbooks)
Guru Notebooks (Guided Journals to help you navigate life. Includes Throw It Away, Morning Coffee & Thoughts, Dreams, Job Search, My Fears, Voting Decision, Core Values, and more)
Guru Notebooks Finance (Guided Journals for Intelligent Stock, Cryptocurrency, Index Fund, ETF, REIT, and Mutual Fund Investments)
Scribble Guru (Slow down, relax, and make something out of unique scribbles that you can share online)
The Jesus Response
Porn Guru: A Guide to Stop Porn Dependency
The Dating App Confessions (Short stories about the online dating world)
The Trumpstitution, by Michael Boon (A satirical way to learn the US Constitution)