Dr. Nikki Watkins, LMFT, was sure she was done having children. She and her husband, Greg, were in their forties and had three daughters. But Nikki felt God's encouragement to have another child, and when her six-year-old suggested that God might want the couple to have a baby, Nikki knew it was a sign. Greg prayed about the matter and agreed that God wanted them to have another baby, and Nikki's pregnancy commenced.
Greg and Nikki learned that their unborn daughter, Riley Elizabeth, had a heart defect, but late in the pregnancy, the parents visited a pediatric cardiologist who told them she wouldn't need surgery. But the very next day, they received the worst news of their lives: Riley's heart had stopped beating.
In the days and months ahead, Nikki plunged into grief-and worse. She experienced severe depression, anxiety, obsessive thoughts, and substance abuse. She couldn't trust God anymore, not after what he had let her go through.
But she loved Greg, and she didn't want to lose him. As alone as she felt, she reached out to others and didn't let go of her loved ones. Their support provided an environment for her healing-and her return to God.
About the Author: Dr. Nikki Watkins, LMFT, is the owner of Maple Leaf Counseling Services, and the founder of Share San Diego-South County, a bereavement support group. She earned a master's degree in counseling psychology, a master's degree in religious studies, and a doctorate in clinical psychology.
Nikki and her husband, Greg, have been married for over twenty years, and together they have four daughters. Their youngest, Riley Elizabeth, passed away three weeks before her scheduled delivery by C-section. Nikki runs a support group for women who have experienced similar losses, and she crochets cradles for women who have lost their unborn babies.
