I was in panic mode; I was very restless; sleep was eluding me and that coupled with other issues I had been having, meant nothing short of danger. Danger especially for my fragile mental and emotional well-being; a well-being already made very fragile by the sudden and very painful demise of my fondest and dearest sibling brother after 18 grueling years with epilepsy and mental disorders. I constantly reached out to mum and it was then that she asked me the question which sparked this other memoir of mine. What is the worst case scenario she asked? After several exchanges with her and with my shrink and another close friend, I began to layout what makes up the content of this memoir. It is my journey of fighting the FEAR within. I came to learn of two different definitions of FEAR; Fold Everything and Run or Face Everything and Rise. I recently came across another one; False Emotions Appearing Real. Yes, I largely have fought FEAR pretty much all my life and, in most of its dimensions. I think and know we each have too. Yet, I believe and hope that sharing my journey in my usual candour, and yes without fear or favour, shame or stigma, may help someone else to realize they are not alone in their own "inner fights". I hope many come to realize that the 'worst case scenario' often gets that worse first in the mind, but that with help and positive thinking, we can win such 'fights'.
About the Author: The author is a mother of 3 boys, her musketeers whom she for all sorts of genuine and not so genuine reasons and motives, left behind in her native Cameroon while fleeing for her own 'sanity'. Today, she is back to her country Cameroon after four years in 'Limbo', and gradually settling down before taking her boys to live with her in their own home which she plans to acquire. Marie is every other woman, a mother, daughter, sister, lover and friend. She really wonders how she has managed to find the strength to move on and do all she does mindful of her mental challenges. Probably she concludes, her 3 D principles of Determination, Discipline and Dedication, have contributed in helping her find the strength in whatever remains. Life has not always been easy she goes, it still isn't she concludes. Her truth now she explains, is that she is much tougher than she was years ago and hence, all the more ready to live courageously and fiercely till the end. Ms. Abanga is a lawyer by profession, a dynamic and passionate advocate of Women's rights, a mental health advocate, a motivational speaker and a welleing coach and a dedicated writer. Ms Abanga runs her legal practice in Douala, the economic capital of Cameroon, while equally serving as the Country Director of the Gbm Foundation and Centre for Epilepsy and Mental Wellbeing.