Eight years ago, there were still some broken pieces in the First Edition left to sift through, reimagine and make anew into something stronger than what they were before the breaking. Some poems after the writing felt almost like curses hanging over my head; not the intended purpose, so I tore them from the book, set them alight, and let them float away.
Other broken pieces not originally in the book fused together to bend the arc more toward a hard-won healing. I have my loved ones to thank for that, especially my grown children. I am more my true self when I am with them.
I am so grateful to Paul Grimsley, my publisher at Musehick Publications, who believed that this book was not only worthy of being published once, but twice. This Illustrated Second Edition feels like the more fully realized version of itself, and the challenge of illustrating it was a great meditation for me to see the work anew and live through it again. I hope these new pages add to your reading experience. Today, this book feels more like a talisman of healing for me rather than a memorial to what has been lost. I used to feel like I was inflicting this book on my readers rather than blessing them with it. Now, I can't wait to place it into your hands.
A few of these works appeared in other publications. I am grateful to Fire Magazine for publishing "Jacob Wrestling", Vain for publishing "Ashes", The Good Men Project for publishing "Rage Fu Hustle" and "Damnation By Firelight" and Press 1 Quarterly for publishing both "Snoopyland" and an earlier version of "Son of Abraham."
Finally, anyone who is blurbed by necessary luminaries like Jessamyn Smyth, Ilya Kaminsky and Katie Farris undoubtedly knows what it is like to be humbled by such rare and generous praise. And when Katie referred to my work as "the unmaking of a chosen son, the birth of a good man," she gave me an aspiration that will take the rest of my life to hopefully achieve.
And to you, the reader: thank you for seeing me. I hope this book helps you to see yourself better after having read it. You are necessary and beautiful and more rare than you ought to be.
Thank you for reading.
Much love,
Jim Churchill-Dicks
