If you or a friend are now, or soon will be, a new widower... this book is written for you. The physical, emotional and psychological pain are greater than you can imagine. A widower may well think that they are going crazy. Their judgement is distorted, their social filters can be absent, and nights are often sleepless delusional times from which their is no escape. Widower to Widower is written to provide widowers with the help they so desperately need during their grieving process.
It is a resource to therapists (who want to help these men), to friends and family of a widower (to better understand what he is going through), and to women who have befriended a widower so they can make better decisions about their relationship with him.
Reviews
Fred Colbys book, Widower to Widower, explores the often overlooked or minimized expression of male grief. With courage and honesty, Fred shares his experiences as he navigates the grief process following the death of his wife. With a straight-forward voice and clear writing style, Fred provides insight from his personal journey to provide education, understanding and comfort to other men who are grieving. This book is an essential tool for grief counselors as well as their male clients. Mia Towbin, MS, LMFT - Grief Counselor
For any man who has suffered, either recently or not so recently, the death of his beloved wife, Fred Colbys book is essential reading. With refreshing vulnerability and openness, Colby shares the ups and downs of what he went through, while honoring whats unique in each mans experience. As a fellow widower, I give this book my highest recommendation. Robert Devereaux, Widower, Writer, Actor
Widower to Widower Description
Following the passing of my wife of 45 years in 215, the greatest fear I had was that I was going crazy, that I was losing all control over my thoughts, and that I might make decisions that would harm me, my family and my friends... not to mention suicidal thoughts. This scared the hell out of me and made me desperate to find answers so I could avoid making bad life choices. However, I quickly found that the resources for widowers were very minimal and often of questionable value. I have done my best to compile the most vital information that I could find on the widower experience into this one book so the reader would not have to go to as many sources for answers as I had to do. Fred Colby, Author
In this book, the reader watches the grief process unfold through thirty blogs Fred wrote during his first year of grieving the loss of his wife. His first non-fiction book blends these blogs together with observations, lessons learned, and information he gathered from others during his grieving process.
His therapist at Pathways Hospice in Fort Collins, Colorado urged him to write this book after she too had trouble finding resources to recommend while counseling him. Fred met with and learned from many other widowers, therapists, and licensed counselors during his search for answers. This search took him to group meetings, individual counseling sessions, writings by fellow widowers, and impromptu discussions resulting from happenstance meetings with fellow travelers on the grief journey.
As a result of his commitment to finding ways to better help his fellow widowers, Fred helped to launch and co-facilitate a Mens Grief Group at Pathways Hospice, joined its Board of Directors, and is chairing its Capital Campaign Committee to help fund a Childrens Healing Garden at Pathways.
For more information go to: www.fredcolby.com
About the Author
Fred Colby was born in Seattle, Washington where his father, Ralph Colby, worked as an engineer for Boeing after WWII. Following his fathers death in 1955 Freds family moved to San Diego to live with his maternal grandfather. Freds mother, Danah, remarried three years later to Lynn Fayman who took on Fred and his three sisters (Kate, Ann, and Laura) until his passing eleven years later. Two brothers (Corey and Bruce) were born into the family during his mothers second marriage. Death and the loss of loved ones was not something new to Fred when many years later his wife, Theresa Colby, passed in 2015. However the loss of his father and step-father at such a young age did not prepare him for the pain and emotional turmoil he experienced when Theresa died. Fred grew up in San Diego, attending La Jolla High School and Mesa Community College. After marrying Theresa in 1970 he completed his college education at Claremont Mens College in Claremont, California, graduating Cum Laude with a degree in Political Science in 1972. Five years later, Fred and Theresa welcomed their first of two daughters (Jennifer and Charlene) into their family. Fred embarked upon non-profit and political careers in the areas of fundraising and marketing. He worked in-house at arts, education, and social service agencies as a Development Director, Director of Administration, and Executive Director. In the 90s he launched Colby Consulting, which enjoyed a 15 year run serving dozens of San Diego area nonprofits. His political career led him to work on state-wide and local initiatives, and candidate campaigns. He was elected to the San Diego Community College Board of Trustees in 1988, where he served for eight years in what he often called his most enjoyable and rewarding role. Fred and Theresa relocated to Colorado in 2008 after their daughters and their growing families moved to Fort Collins. Theresa passed in 2015 after a year long bout of medical treatment for uterine cancer. Having written thousands of pages of newsletters, grant applications, letters, and opinion pieces, Fred felt comfortable applying his writing skills to his first book, Widower to Widower. This book is his way of passing on his lessons-learned to other widowers suffering through what has to be one of the most difficult experiences of their lives.
