It is generally perceived that there is a crisis in Black male/female relations in 'the West'. Apart from the seemingly exponential rise (in the UK and to a lesser extent USA) in Afrikans (Blacks ) choosing non-Afrikan partners, where Afrikans do choose to engage in intimate relationships with each other these relationships seem to be increasingly fraught with difficulty, conflict and recrimination. In this book renowned author Ifayomi Grant provides a holistic overview of Black Male/Female relationships and most importantly provides solutions for the challenges he identifies. He does this in the following seven steps: STEP 1 - What's it all about? This chapter asks and answers the fundamental question... What is the purpose of a relationship? In particular this question is examined from the perspective of the group, community or society. I identify five key relationship drivers whose impact needs to be understood if relationships are to be viewed from a holistic perspective. STEP 2 - What Went Wrong? In this step I identify eight critical factors that have had a detrimental effect upon Black Male/Female relationships since the 1950s to the present day. There is an extensive examination of one of these factors, economic restructuring, to demonstrate how broader societal changes impact upon individual behaviour. STEP 3 - What is your experience of relationships and what does it tell you about yourself? In this step it is your chance to look honestly at the person in the mirror. To think about your past relationships; and since behaviour is a better indicator of a person's true values than words, to understand what your relationship history tells you about who and what you really value. STEP 4- How to select Mr/Ms Right -In this step we examine a range of criteria typically used by people to determine the suitability of a potential mate. These criteria are often referred to as 'the list'. We deconstruct the list and identify a smaller number of critical factors to be considered in selecting a long-term partner. STEP 5- Understanding Yourself and Who you are Dealing With-If you don't see yourself in any other step, you most likely will see some of yourself in this chapter. You may also see your current partner, previous partners, friends, relatives etc. in this step. I provide pen pictures of over 30 Black relationship/behavioural types with accompanying marriageability ratings and common problems that each relationship type presents and experiences. Step 6 - Understanding The Impact of the Media on Black Self-Image and Relationships-The mass media is incredibly important in shaping people's values and self image. In this step we explore how the corporate media impacts upon the way Afrikan people view themselves, shapes our collective beauty ideal and negatively impacts upon our ability to form strong, productive relationships. STEP 7 -How to Build and Maintain Black-on-Black Love-This final step synthesises everything we have learned throughout the course of the book to provide individual and group solutions to solve the crisis in Black/Male female relationships. So there you have it, or at least will have it when you invest in the book. There is plenty of analysis, description and prescription to keep you hooked with a bit of humour thrown in to boot. This book will make you happy, make you sad, make you smile, make you sigh, make you angry and frustrated, make you reflect and contemplate, depress you, uplift you, however; when all is said, done and written it will give you hope by providing practical solutions. It's a rollercoaster ride like many Black relationships, however when the ride is over you should exit with a smiling face!
About the Author: Ifayomi Grant is a writer, management consultant and public speaker. He is the author of six books: *Niggers, Negroes, Black People and Afrikans - The Human Dimension of Building Effective Organisations: An Afrikan-Centred Perspective *Blue Skies for Afrikans - Life and Death Choices for Afrikan Liberation *Saving Our Sons - Strategies and Advice for the Parents of Afrikan Teenage Sons *Sankofa The Wise Man and his Amazing Friends *Why Willie Lynch Must Die *Buy Now Pay Later - How Debt is used to create Financial Slavery He has also published a booklet 'Let's All Pull Together - Ifowosowopo Economics'. His work can be viewed at his website www.houseofknowledge.org.uk Ifayomi has lectured, run workshops and seminars in the UK and overseas on a variety of topics related to the condition of Afrikan people in the UK and around the world. He has been interviewed on a number of radio programmes in the UK and US. Ifayomi has been involved in a number of community groups, most notably: Nubian Link a community education group established in 1995. This self-funded group has delivered a range of educational activities including, Kulture College, an annual summer school for Afrikan boys and girls aged 12-15, annual Kwanzaa celebrations, Afrikans in Science award for Afrikan young people aged 11-16. Nubian Link is self-financing with members tithing on a monthly basis. www.nubianlink.org.uk Vice-Chair and co-founder (in 1998) of the Nottingham Black Families in Education Parent Support Group which provides educational advocacy and support. Ifayomi acts as a volunteer educational advocate and also trains the group's Jenoch (Mentors). www.nbfe.co.uk In February 2006 Ifayomi returned to self-employment and he works as a management consultant. He has been married to Beverley since 1995 and they have two children, Jawanza and Abiba.