Forward
by
Francesca Adler-Baeder, Ph.D., CFLE
Director of Family Life Education
Stepfamily Association of America
Professor, Human Development
and Family Studies
Auburn University I am so impressed with this beautiful story of life, love, mistakes, challenges and hope. Although Charles Lund’s story is uniquely his, his experiences are shared in many important ways by stepfathers and stepfamilies throughout the country.
He brings life and humor to the process of creating a family after remarriage. Many men struggle in stepfamily formation since our broader culture offers little in the way of clear roadmaps. His story touches on so many of the issues that we know from research and from clinical work are a normal part of negotiating these unclear family roles and complicated family dynamics.
Rather than a preachy, here’s how to do it kind of self-help tale, his is a readable (I went through this in one sitting!), entertaining, and subtle account that will be an enjoyable and valuable resource for stepfathers and stepparents. He offers important lessons learned, seamlessly weaving together stories of personal stepparenting over two decades of family life.
I am most impressed with the honest and thoughtful way he reflects on and explains his thoughts and actions over the years as a husband, as an ex-husband, as a stepfather, as a parent, and as a man, who, through it all, is striving to build a successful, satisfying, and happy life, both as an individual, and as a member of a complex stepfamily.
I am especially struck by the central theme of the love he has for his wife as the motivation to work through the blurry lines of the stepparent/parent roles. The couple creates the stepfamily and his message of building a strong couple relationship in order to build a strong stepfamily comes through loud and clear.
Beautifully written, and powerful, The Wedding Was Great, But When Does Chuck Leave? is a love story for our time.
