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About the Book

EKELFAKTOR: BRAUNER SPLATTER AUF DEM BAUERNHOF!

Martin Knöpfle gestaltet die Natur nach seinen Regeln. Zwischen Stall und Weide verlierst du dein Menschsein. Er melkt dich, wenn er es für richtig hält. Füllt deinen Trog mit Futter. Wenn die Nacht über den Hof hereinbricht, gehörst du ihm mit Haut und Fell. Auch die fäkalen Bedürfnisse kommen dabei nicht zu kurz.

Dein Blut für meinen Acker, dein Fleisch für mein Vieh!

GÜLLE UND GRAUSAMKEIT

Ein erster Klecks tropfte aus ihrem Arschloch, braun und schleimig.

"Die Fruchtblase ist geplatzt. Weiter so, mein liebstes Huhn!"
Ida gab sich sichtlich Mühe. Welche schier unmenschliche Anstrengung es kosten mochte, als Mensch die Aufgabe des Tiers zu übernehmen, konnte Martin schwer erahnen. Auch wenn er ihr die Bürde auferlegt hatte. Dass der Mensch formbar sei, daran hegte er keinen Zweifel. Wie genau sie es am Ende anstellten, interessierte den Bauern nicht. Rein das Ergebnis zählte. Knöpfles Magen knurrte gierig. Man sollte nie hungrig in den Stall gehen. Ida würde ihm eine Fäkalie gebären, die keine Familienähnlichkeit besaß zu den gelb gefiederten Küken. Urplötzlich drängte es ihr heraus, und sprenkelte Martins Wangen. Genussvoll leckte er sich die Lippen, um keinen Tropfen des kostbaren Sekrets zu verschwenden.
"Das ist kein Ei."
Ida war den Tränen nahe. Wie würde der Bauer reagieren? Drohte ihr schwere Züchtigung?
"Habe ich auch nie behauptet."
"Soll wohl Rührei sein."
Martin steckte den Daumen in die braune Pampe, und leckte ihn ganz langsam ab. Dabei sah er seinem Huhn tief in die Augen.
"Muss ich mir wohl einen Wecken mit Nutella bestreichen. Würde das schmecken? Was denkst du?"
Grün im Gesicht starrte sie ihn fassungslos an. Jede Antwort war falsch auf diese Frage. Hier ging es um das köstliche Aroma von Scheiße.
"Bloß weil man es nie gegessen hat, kann man sich trotzdem eine Meinung ausbilden."
Er schmierte ihr einen Schnurrbart unter die Nase, dass auch sie einen Hauch erschnuppere. Dann ließ er sich sein Frühstück schmecken. Mit bloßen Händen riss er den Wecken auseinander, und bestrich das Brötchen mit Gottes natürlichem Messer: seinem Zeigefinger. Wie ein Maler seinen Pinsel, tauchte Knöpfle immer wieder in die Palette ein, die nur Töne wie Umbra und Ocker im Sortiment hatte. Diese brachte er zu Brot, und setzte sich gemütlich zum Geflügel. Morgens wie ein Kaiser, mittags wie ein König, und abends wie ein Bauer. Lebendig wimmelte es zwischen den Zähnen. Ida hatte sich Würmer eingefangen.


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Product Details
  • ISBN-13: 9781537779331
  • Publisher Date: 17 Nov 2016
  • Height: 198 mm
  • No of Pages: 144
  • Spine Width: 8 mm
  • Width: 129 mm
  • ISBN-10: 1537779338
  • Binding: Paperback
  • Language: German
  • Returnable: N
  • Weight: 149 gr


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