Tears, Cheers and Jeers
This book is about deceit. Deceit that is innocent, deceit that is sinister, deceit that causes mayhem, and deceit that may not be deceit at all, except as it may deceive the reader.
"Bear" Enis is a world-renowned expert on religious rituals. While researching the funeral practices of the Romani (gypsies) in Romania, he meets and marries Kezia. a Romani. The college for which Bear works is bribed by the Russian government to give a job to Vasily, the wastrel son of Vladimir Putin's "fixer." The college forces Bear to take Vasily as his graduate assistant. Vasily is handsome, muscular and resentful of the situation. Bear is equally resentful of having his life affected by having to deal with a cretin. Bear and Vasily clash from the beginning, one tireless and demanding, the other lazy and stupid. Both know, however, that failure is not an option.
Bear, already disillusioned by academia, is approached by a Chinese urologist, Dr. Wun Hun-Loh, to stage a traditional Chinese funeral for his dying father, a man who's solitary existence has left him without friends. Bear agrees when Dr. Wun offers him $25,000. Bear employs a Chinese rock singer and teaches her to be a wailer. Kezia and Vasily assemble a group of elderly Chinese to be trained to be sobbers, mourners and weepers. While not without comic mishaps, the funeral is a success, Dr. Wun is pleased and one of the local television stations makes the funeral a feature on its nightly news broadcasts.
Flush with success and buoyed by the free publicity, Bear, Kezia and Vasily embark on a new business venture of supplying crowds for events to which no one would go ...without being paid. Tears, Inc.'s initial projects of wakes, funerals and graveside sobbing are, for the most part, successful. Yet, the business is teetering on the edge of insolvency, when a soon-to-be widow asks Bear to stage a funeral that will remake the reputation of her nationally reviled and soon-to-be deceased husband, "Hatchet" Harry Baldwin. Baldwin is a corporate turn-around specialist whose trademark is laying off workers without severance pay or benefits to deliver huge profits to his clients. Lured by the promise of a payday of $450,000, Bear accepts the project.
While Bear and Kezia immerse themselves in material about Harry, seeking the keys that may unlock a usable story line, Vasily is left on his own to deliver on the commitments made by Bear to supply an aborigine wailer and a mute to two funerals. Without Bear around to give him guidance, Vasily humorously blunders his assignments, including hiring someone to be a mute who confuses his role with that of a Walmart greeter. Finding what they believe may be answer to their dilemma, Bear and Kezia develop a plan. Bear assigns Kezia and Vasily to begin implementation of the plan. Bear, himself, steps across the ethical line and, without the knowledge of either Kezia or Vasily, begins to weave a tangled web of deceit with actors and a bribed newspaper reporter.
The Baldwin funeral, a success, attracts hordes of investigative reporters, each wishing to be the first to unmask the obvious fraud. When people associated with the funeral start showing up dead, the fraud investigations are given a new focus -- homicide.
Intent on keeping their business alive, Bear and Kezia agree to provide a crowd for the announcement by a wealthy, handsome and charismatic ultra-progressive's campaign to be President. Bear and Kezia launch the campaign with a crowd of hundreds of screaming and cheering "supporters." Just as the candidate's stardom is gaining momentum, disrupters appear at his rallies, causing mayhem and fear.
When Bear and Kezia discover that Vasily had provided the disruptors, they threaten to expose him to the police. Angered and vengeful, Vasily's father sends assassins to kill Bear and Kezia. Only Vladimir Putin can stop the assassins. But, will he and, if he does, why?