This is the very first installment of Several Shadows. Volume 1: Brokenhearted. We all experience romance and personal relationships sometimes blindly or head-on. Learn about my life as it pertains to Big & Beautiful Women (BBWs) before I got married. Based on true events. I met many ladies which inspired me to write lots of poetry and songs though at that time, BBWs weren't defined as an audience the way they are now. You get to see song lyrics and poems which were designed to persuade a woman or women of interest to me. These are my beginning works. I am also a rapper using different styles today and it was formed in my youth and young adult years.Brokenhearted was written using compiled notes from a journal I had. There are also letters from women I interacted with along with our discussions at times. I was very sentimental and looked for the right BBW to spend the rest of my life with. I found her. But it was quite a ride and journey I took to finally settle down.You'll find youthful fun as part of the story. It was common for me to keep notes on most of the women I interacted with. My memory is rather good concerning them and the past from my own perspective. Names have been changed to protect identities and to make the story more interesting. At times, I met women with the same name. So you'll see these names throughout this series. You must know which one I'm referring to specifically if a same name is used.I was pretty wild in my own opinion. The fact that the majority of women I dealt with were larger women didn't change this fact. Story takes place mainly in Washington, DC before the recent turn around in the capital city. Once upon a time in the 1990's, it was the murder capital of the United States.Curvy Larger Women are who I preferred to spend my time with. Sometimes I was committed in a relationship. But usually not. I was famous for having open relationships as a player. Still I felt I knew the difference between a good time and Real Love. My perspectives on women then weren't always the best. Yet they were real and honest. They continue to be.During this period in Washington, DC, Black BBWs were predominant as far as BBWs are concerned. I learned how to be myself with them, learn from them and teach others at times based on the knowledge I had gathered. I dealt with younger women, older women and women my age or in my age range. It didn't make a difference to me. I tried to treat each of them as an individual instead of a collection.I was able to maintain lengthy relationships with a few ladies while my player lifestyle was quite active. Almost daily I wrote songs. Poems came every now and then during this time. I also was called various names - Juice, J and Julian. In the book, these names are referred to as Juice, Jazz and Jovon. My family and close friends supported the idea of me dating larger women. They'd seen me from my youth. It was never an issue, like I hear of in some other places and for many people. It was expected of me for the most part. Still one of my best friends tried persuading me to consider smaller women. It just wasn't my thing. I did also date Thick Chicks, which are different than Big & Beautiful Women from my standpoint. Whenever I visited adult entertainment venues, I looked for a Curvy BBW to show up. I was usually disappointed. Still on one occasion, a dancer approached me on a personal level. That's within the series. Check for Volume 2. I was quick on my feet then. Dealing with a lot of women, you have to be. Based on the course my life was taking, I thought I'd be a Mack for Life - never finding fulfillment. There were numerous occasions I used a pimp's mentality with certain women. I felt they had crossed me. I couldn't trust them any longer. On the other hand, I ended a lot of relationships due to my being angry with them. I didn't feel they were on my level. Still time reveals things later on in life. Enjoy Volume 1 as much more is to come.