There are three distinct stages of love. Each is dominated by a specific biochemical. The root of a failed romance and the terrible and even enduring pain it can bring is a result of this special biochemistry.When we become aware of these stages of love and their associated behaviors, and some of these behaviors simply do not serve us, then we are in stronger position to find the one we seek as a life's partner. We can more readily identify what is love, or what could grow into true love, versus what is mainly physical passion and personal attraction. Further, understanding the critical difference between male and female 'brain wiring' and the role of adrenal stress on our learning and memory can offer framework for recovery from a crushing end to a romantic relationship. Understand why a failed romantic relationship can become a form of genuine PTSD itself. But also understand that there is a way out from under the pain. In finding that way, you will have turned pain into purpose.
About the Author: I began my studies into the biochemical basis of leaning and memory three decades ago. At that time however, in the early seventies, my theories were not well accepted or understood. I believe it was only the effectiveness of my training programs and my effective treatment of PTSD cases that kept me on the 'payroll' so to speak and allowed my further post-graduate 'academic' education. But, while training can be useful, it is surely no substitute for personal experience. Trauma that elicits the adrenal flow and thus engages the Amygdala, which pre-empts self-aware cognition, can result from any emotionally traumatic event, including a failed love affair. And that origin in a failed relationship most certainly does not make trauma any less 'real' than any other form of PTSD. I personally do not think there is a more deeply emotionally traumatic experience than that of lost 'romantic love'. In fact, this trauma can create PTSD patterns of behavior that are as real and powerful and as enduring as any suffered by untreated combat veterans. As has been said, 'love can indeed be a battlefield'. Other hormonal agents involved in love include Dopamine and Serotonin and ultimately if it becomes a lasting and successful relationship, that is if the 'Attachment' phase of love is reached, Vasopressin. The work is truly meant to help those suffering from the terrible pain of a lost love and to assist people in understanding what enduring love truly is so as to help them recognize and ultimately find it. And this book demands no knowledge of biochemistry either. This is a practical guide to understanding what you are feeling and why when you are 'in love', both during that romantic affair and subsequently when that affair terminates. This book will allow you to recognize the stage of love you are currently in and it will permit you a much better and more scientifically oriented judgment regarding the future course of your relationship. True love is a spiritual path that leads through the fullness of time to the shedding of most all illusions and that 'shedding of illusions' is the basis of all enlightenment. That shedding of illusions allows us to see and accept the truth of things and hat is always a movement toward greater enlightenment and greater personal inner peace. That means any illusions, illusions about your mate, yourself or the very nature of love and commitment. It is a profound acceptance of the true nature of life and of love itself.