Who do we love? Who loves us? And why? Is love really a mystery, or can neuroscience offer some answers to these age-old questions? In her third enthralling book about the brain, Judith Horstman takes us on a lively tour of our most important sex and love organ and the whole smorgasbord of our many kinds of love-from the bonding of parent and child to the passion of erotic love, the affectionate love of companionship, the role of animals in our lives, and the love of God.
Drawing on the latest neuroscience, she explores why and how we are born to love-how we're hardwired to crave the companionship of others, and how very badly things can go without love. Among the findings: parental love makes our brain bigger, sex and orgasm make it healthier, social isolation makes it miserable-and although the craving for romantic love can be described as an addiction, friendship may actually be the most important loving relationship of your life.
Based on recent studies and articles culled from the prestigious Scientific American and Scientific American Mind magazines, The Scientific American Book of Love, Sex, and the Brain offers a fascinating look at how the brain controls our loving relationships, most intimate moments, and our deep and basic need for connection.
Table of Contents:
Acknowledgments xi
Preface: Who Do You Love? xiii
Introduction: What Is This Thing Called Love? 1
So What Is Love? 2
Love Is a Many Splendored Thing—and the Greeks Had a Word for All of the Types 4
The Basics of Your Brain in Love and Sex 6
I’ve Got You Under My Skull: Love in Your Brain 7
You Make Me Feel So Good: The Pleasure Center 8
The Very Thought of You 9
How Scientists Research Love and Sex in Your Brain 10
1 Born to Love: Why People Need People 15
Do You See What I See? How Mirror Neurons Connect Us 17
The Dangers of Involuntary Mind Merging 22
The Chemistry of Love 23
Love Is Everywhere: Where Love Grows in the Brain 26
A Brain Unable to Love: Inside the Brain of a Psychopath 27
Baby Face, You’ve Got the Cutest Little Baby Face 33
2 Learning to Love 35
How Your Parents Affect Your Love Life 36
Love at First Sight: The Earliest Lessons in Love 39
If You Could Read My Mind: Moms Do 42
A Mother’s Everlasting Love 43
How Parenting Primes Your Brain for Love 45
Parenting Rewires the Daddy Brain as Well 46
How Father Love Feeds Both Brains 47
Postpartum Depression: Misery for Mom and Baby 50
Loving the One Who Hurts You: Why Children Cling to Abusers 51
What If Things Went Wrong with That First Love? 52
In the End: Do Parents Matter? 54
3 His Brain, Her Brain, Gay Brain, and Other Brains 57
How Real Are the Differences? 58
The Five Genders of the Brain 60
His Brain, Her Brain: The Geography 61
So What Does This Have to Do with Love? 63
Our Changeable Brains 66
Some Myths About Male and Female Brains: True or False? 68
Toujours Gay: The Gay Brain Is Born That Way 72
Can Animals Be Gay? Better to Call It Bisexual 74
I Am What I Am 76
The Third Gender: When Gender and Sex Do Not Align 79
Are There Asexuals Among Us? On the Possibility of a Fourth Sexual Orientation 81
4 That Old Black Magic: Your Brain in Love 85
How Love and Sex Are Good for Your Brain 88
When Love Occupies Your Brain 90
Who Do You Love? And Who Loves Ya, Baby? 91
You’ve Got That Lovin’ Feelin’, But What Turns You On? 96
You Go to My Nose: The Power of Smell over Sex 96
A Kiss Is (More Than) Just a Kiss 102
You Light Up My Brain 104
What’s Love Got to Do with It? Plenty It Turns Out—for Women 108
Need Some Love Potion? Try a Bit of Oxytocin Spray 109
I’ll Have What She’s Having: What Makes a Better Female Orgasm? 110
Does the Penis Have a Brain of Its Own? 112
When Things Go Wrong: A Fine Romance 115
5 Friendship, Such a Perfect Blendship: Or, with a Little Help from My Friends 121
Is Friendship Declining? 123
Are You Lonesome Tonight? 60 Million Other Americans Are 125
You’ve Got a Friend—or You Should! 126
Widening the Social Circle 129
Imaginary Friends: TV Characters Can Ease Your Pain 130
Until the Real Thing Comes Along: Your Brain on Facebook 133
Work, the “Other Love” in Your Life 135
Can Animals Love? Yes, and More 136
How to Make Friends 139
6 Only You Can Make My Dreams Come True: Let’s Get Married 143
Grow Old Along with Me: The Marriage Benefits 144
You Make Me Feel So Good: Romance Lowers Stress 145
Finding That Special Someone: Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places? 146
Falling and Staying in Love 148
I’ve Grown Accustomed to Your Face 150
My One and Only Love: Are We Monogamous? 151
Granny’s Got to Have It 153
Your Hormones May Drive You Apart: A Tough Pill to Swallow 155
Making Love Last: I Get a Kick out of You 156
Can Pornography Help Your Love Life? 158
Love Will Keep Us Together: Lasting Romance Is Embossed in the Brain 159
Will You Still Need Me When I’m 64? 161
7 You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’: When Love Dies 165
Breaking Up Is Hard to Do: How Rejection Affects Your Brain 166
The Jilted Brain 167
After the Love Is Gone—You Ache and Ache 169
Can’t Live If Living Is Without You: The Widowhood Effect 171
Achy Breaky Heart: Can You Die of a Broken Heart? 172
Ain’t No Cure for Love—But Acetaminophen Could Help 172
Every Time You Say Good-Bye, I Die a Little: Why It Hurts to Leave Your Lover 174
Broken Promises: Can the Brain Predict Betrayal? 176
Coping with a Breaking Heart 178
8 For the Love of God 181
Searching for God in Your Brain 182
Epilepsy, the Temporal Lobe, and God 182
Strokes of Insight: Brain Changes and Spiritual Awakening 184
Religious Ecstasy Is Like Romantic Love—in the Brain at Least 186
God on the Brain: What Brain Scans Show 188
Could Religion Shrink Your Brain? 190
The Evolutionary Roots of God Thought 191
God Neurons May Be Everywhere 192
9 Technology, Science, and the Future of Sex 195
The Wonderful World of Cybersex 196
Sex in Bits and Bytes: The Future of Virtual Sex Is Here 199
10 How Can Love Survive? 201
But What of Love? 204
Glossary 207
Sources 215
Illustration Credits 229
About the Author 231
Index 233
