Welcome to the world of Sacred Wind, a tale set in an alternative reality, featuring conscious curries, headbanging sheep, telepathic cats, magic cheese, an evil Baron, some very sexy faeries, and a Welsh Viking Flatulence Rock band.... Sacred Wind: The Complete Trilogy It's safe to say that the last thing Aiden Peersey expected when he began his trip to Llangollen was to meet a bunch of Welsh Vikings who played in a rock band called Sacred Wind. It's also safe to say that the technology geek and part-time sound engineer didn't expect to be catapulted into a quest to win a music tournament, to save the faerie queen, to win freedom for their land, to be able to fart freely, and to win the right to their cheese. Nevertheless, that's exactly what happened... Transported into an alternative reality by the Navigation App on his quantum computer-powered Smart Phone, Aiden discovers a land ruled by the evil Baron Blacktie, who has banned rock music, outlawed unauthorised flatulence, and made cheese sniffing a crime. He is soon immersed in a world where sheep manage pubs and play in orchestras, cats are telepathic, cheese comes from mines, and curries have consciousness (Wrexham is a 'Currydom', ruled by King Beef Vindaloo-Boiled Rice III and his wife, Queen Tikka Masala-Coconut Rice...). When the evil Baron discovers that Sacred Wind's drummer, Agnar the Hammered, owns a cheese mine that contains a potentially magic cheese, he concocts a hideous plot to make the mine his own. He challenges Sacred Wind to take part in a prestigious music tournament, and he sends his two top spies, Hob and Nob, to capture the Faerie Queen, Ophelia, who is betrothed to Sacred Wind's singer, Olaf the Berserker! And so, Aiden joins the Sacred Wind and the 'Companionship of Wind', as they embark on a perilous journey to reach the city in time for the great tournament... So, if you want to delve into a world where curries will make you laugh, where sheep will make you cry, where no-one sniggers when your first name is 'Oldfart', where you'll cheer quite a lot at the bits that have obviously been written to incite cheering, where you'll think about faeries in ways you really shouldn't, where you'll be even more scared of Traffic Wardens than you ever thought possible, where vacuum cleaners get possessed, where Welsh Vikings can have platonic relationships with English sheep, where you'll finish reading the story with a smile on your face and warmth in your heart, and where you'll want to read more as soon as you've finished, then Sacred Wind is the book for you. Sacred Wind - The Album Surely the finest debut album by a Welsh Viking Flatulence Rock band from an alternative reality... Now available at all good download stores! Featuring all the Sacred Wind tracks from the book and more: 1.A Time of Magic 2.Sacred Wind 3.Metal and Curry 4.Hurricane Ass 5.Warriors of Asgard 6.Sail With Me 7.Rock, Rock, Rock, Rock Ragnarok 8.Frigg 9.Fart For Odin 10.Dragon Ships and Women's Hips 11.My Sword is my Sword 12.The Sheep's Lament (bonus track) 13.The Power of Cheese (bonus track)
About the Author: ABOUT THE AUTHOR - BY OLDFART OLAFSON Andy Coffey has been called many things; short, bald, barking mad, cute, a creative genius (... actually, I think he calls himself that). But, it is true to say that without Andy, Sacred Wind may never have made it into your particular reality. And we thank him for that. After a brief foray into music journalism, and an attempt at rock superstardom in the late eighties, Andy eventually carved out a successful career in something called 'IT' for the best part of twenty years, attaining a Senior Management position in a company dealing with software production and IT service management. He tells me that he was a bit of a guru, by all accounts. However, the music bug never really left him and, in fact, he recorded two albums with his band, 'The Quest', in the nineties (he tells me that the second one was really good). Oh, he plays drums, and apparently his drum kit is nearly as big as Agnar's. He also developed an interest in music technology and composition. This initially caused him some confusion as he had to learn to play keyboards, discovering that hitting them with drumsticks didn't really achieve the desired results... and was more expensive. We first managed to cross the dimensional barrier to communicate with Andy about Sacred Wind in late 2010 (your time). Having voices in his head was a bit of a shock for him at first, but he soon got used to it. So, after working with him closely for the past few years, he's now produced the Sacred Wind books and debut album, for reading and listening pleasure in your reality. He lives with his partner, Jo, and their cat (Theo) in a little town called Frodsham, in the UK. Apparently they can fart whenever and wherever they like. He has a son, Adam; a step-daughter, Zoë, and a step-son, Johnny. He's a good lad but he needs a bigger weapon... (that pocket knife will never do). Yours fartily, Oldfart Olafson (Manager - Sacred Wind)