TABLE OF CONTENTS Foreword by Kim-Jacinto Henares, daughter-in-law, lawyer, accountant. - p.6 PERSONALITIES - p.11 CHAPTER 1. Ditas Lichauco: Will I die? - p.11 CHAPTER 2: Emma Lichauco - p.12 Part 1. The trials of Emma Roensch Lichauco - p.12 Part 2. Emma Lichauco, because you loved me - p.14 Part 3. Emma Lichauco exists laughing - p.15 CHAPTER 3: Bill Gates - p.16 Part 1. Is Bill Gates the Anti-Christ? - p.16 Part 2. The Gospel according to Bill Gates - p.18 Part 3. God sues Gates and vice versa - p.19 Part 4. Microsoft bids to buy the Catholic Church - p.2 Part 5: Microsofts Bill Gates is refused a Visa Card - p.2 Part 6. All the Gods unite w/ Satan to destroy Bill Gates - p.22 CHAPTER 4: Sinatra and Fitzgerald - p.23 Part 1. Frankie, the song is you! - p.23 Part 2. Sinatra, Old and Alone, with Hope and Remembrance - p.24 Part 3: Ella Fitzgerald, the Queen of Jazz, is dead - p.26 Part 4. The perfect song sung by a perfect singer - p.27 CHAPTER 5: If I Were President - p.28 CHAPTER 6: The Geheim Report - p.31 Part 1. Platt, Quinn named CIA agents by Geheim - p.31 Part 2. CIA spies hide behind real diplomats - p.33 SIGNPOSTS - p.34 CHAPTER 1: The Three Ages of Man - p.34 CHAPTER 2: If humanity could be re-created - p.36 CHAPTER 3: Countdown to the Millennium - p.37 Part 1: 1 days ceased to exist in 1582 ! - p.37 Part 2: New Years Resolutions by famous people - p.38 Part 3: A Scenario of Hope - p.4 Part 4: Follow American example rather than American advice - p.41 Part 5. A new day is dawning in the political horizon - p.42 CHAPTER 4: Convergence of the Digital Superhighway - p.43 Part 1. Convergence: the best is still to come - p.43 Part 2: Internet: no more post office, libraries, big stores - p.44 Part 3: Phone, video, stores, post office, libraries are merging - p.45 Part 4: Calculations of a lifetime in a split-second - p.46 Part 5: Networks link us to each other and to the world - p.47 Part 6. Television: NTSC, PAL, SECAM, HDTV - p.48 Part 7: Dont listen to politicians, the future is upon us - p.49 CHAPTER 5: Affirmative Action for the Muslims - p.51 Part 1: Affirmative Action won Civil Rights for the blacks - p.51 Part 2: Affirmative Action, our first line of defense - p.52 CHAPTER 6: Misery Index and the Tipping Point - p.53 Part 1. The Misery Index - p.53 Part 2. The Tipping Point - p.54 CHAPTER 7: We Filipinos are Loser Optimists - p.56 CHAPTER 8: Male Impotency - p.57 Part 1. Were cuckolded by Americans and Chinese - p.57 Part 2: Wives, sweethearts report what men are too shy to talk about - p.58 Part 3. To demonstrate male impotency, Etta said, use a banana! - p.59 CHAPTER 9. Fatso - p.6 Part 1: Fat cells never die, they get fat again - p.667 Part 2. Why diet has a failure rate of 95 percent - p.61 Part 3. The last resort is surgery - p.62 Part 4. Fatso Luis Beltrans bed - p.63 Part 5. To be fat is never to see your private parts again - p.64 CHAPTER 1: Economic Prognosis, 2AD - p.66 Part 1. Corruption often accompanies great development - p.66 Part 2. We were better off than Spain during Spanish times - p.67 Part 3. Free Trade during American Occupation ruined us - p.68 Part 4: Peso depreciation continuous from Marcos to Erap - p.69 Part 5. Gloria Arroyo is no Lee Kwan Yew - p.7 CHAPTER 11. The Season of Easter - p.71 Part 1. Of birth and death of Christ - p.71 Part 2. Christ a real revolutionary, like the Communists - p.72 Part 3. Lost causes are the only ones worth dying for - p.73 Part 4. Nearer my God to Thee - p.74 Part 5. Without Fear of To (MORE INSIDE)