Marriage’s central role in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints distinguishes the faith while simultaneously reflecting widespread American beliefs. But what does Latter-day Saint marriage mean for men? Holly Welker presents a collection of essays exploring this question. The essayists provide insight into challenges involving sexuality, physical and emotional illness, addiction, loss of faith, infidelity, sexual orientation, and other topics. Conversational and heartfelt, the writings reveal the varied experiences of Latter-day Saint marriage against the backdrop of a society transformed by everything from economic issues affecting marriage to evolving ideas about gender. An insightful exploration of the gap between human realities and engrained ideals, Revising Eternity sheds light on how Latter-day Saint men view and experience marriage today.

Table of Contents:
Foreword: Mormon American Masculinities, Ideal and Actual Patrick Q. Mason xi Acknowledgments xv Introduction: Personal, Contingent, and Incomplete Views on Eternal Marriage Holly Welker 1 Part I. Revised Expectations Transgressors Stephen Carter 19 A husband considers the ways his happy marriage violates the ideal praised by the Proclamation on the Family By the Drinking Fountain Eric Robeck 25 A couple’s relationship seems like a Latter-day fairy tale—until he loses his faith My One and Only Clyde Kunz 31 A gay man considers the way Latter-day Saints’ expectations for straight marriage affect his own search for a relationship There’s Something about Mary Kim Siever 37 A husband learns to love his wife more deeply by studying the example of her love for him For Jess, after Eighteen Years of Marriage: Seven Fragments on Love; Or, Some Things I Carry Tyler Chadwick 42 In a love letter to his wife, a husband lists some of the familiar mysteries he cherishes in their marriage An Apology I’ve Been Working on for a While Joey Franklin 44 A husband reflects on the division of labor in his marriage and how it affects his and his wife’s senses of self Never Good Enough Michael Carpenter 52 A lifetime of failing to meet Latter-day Saint ideals exacts a tragic cost Mormon AF Nicholas Don Smith 58 A stand-up comic from American Fork, Utah, reflects on what it means to be Mormon and single Liken the Scriptures Andrew Spriggs 63 A young husband realizes that his gay marriage is the most Mormon thing about his life The Care Package Kevin Barnwell 71 A husband who has left the church works to find the perfect anniversary gift for his still devout wife Part II. Sex and Its Consequences Fertility Theric Jepson 77 After the birth of their fourth child, a husband undergoes a vasectomy to spare his wife any more worry about fertility Opposites Robert Raleigh 82 Newlyweds discover that their intense physical attraction is not a strong enough basis for a happy marriage—or even a satisfying sex life Eternity in an Hour Boyd Jay Petersen 92 On the eve of a trip abroad, a husband learns that his wife of thirty-three years is gay, after which they negotiate a respectful separation Pie Month Scott Russell Morris 105 A young couple agrees to eat pie every day during the month of March 2014 while they also try to conceive a child The Highest T. Kay Browning 119 A young man determined to marry early learns to be the man of integrity his marriage requires of him, especially as he reckons with what the #MeToo movement means for men Being Jane John Doe 129 A bisexual cross-dresser and his wife learn to have a mutually fulfilling sex life while honoring their temple covenants to one another Soul Mates Scott Blanding 133 A gay man and a straight woman navigate a marriage both believe they committed to before birth Hiding in Plain Sight David Nicolay 141 A husband’s ability to connect to his wife is undermined by decades of sexual shame over masturbation 7:06 A.M. Kelland Coleman 151 A lonely husband briefly attains the intimacy he has longed for with his wife when she admits to herself and to him that she is gay Unsealed Dan Smith 160 A husband learns that trying to practice polygamy to please his wife does not heal their troubled marriage Part III. In Sickness and in Health Fear and Trepanation Ted Smith 171 A midlife crisis helps a husband understand how valuable his marriage is, just before it is threatened by a dire medical crisis I’m Not Who I Thought You Married John B. Dahl 180 A young husband is forced to confront his own misconceptions about mental illness when he is diagnosed with depression—and discovers that doing so strengthens instead of harms his marriage Holding On and Letting Go Joseph Broom 190 After decades in a straight marriage, a gay man discovers happiness with the love of his life—only to lose him to cancer after a short marriage Disability Check Caleb Scoville 198 A young man reckons with the way his bipolar disease wreaks havoc on his marriage The House of Infinite Regret Scot Denhalter 207 Addiction to prescription narcotics destroys a life, a marriage, and a family From Patriarchy to Matriarchy: A Marital and Spiritual Journey Thomas W Murphy 218 A young man from an abusive household vows to create a family free of violence and coercion with his wife, after which they learn about alternative forms of strength and leadership—and about aspects of their own backgrounds—when their work leads them to Indigenous communities The Marriage Bed: An Essay and Three Poems Robert A. Rees 231 A widower reflects on his happy marriage and the joy of sharing a bed with his beloved Glossary 239 Discussion Questions 243 Bibliography 245 Contributors 249