Does your partner's past obsess you?
Do you want to know every detail, even if you know it will hurt you?
Do you fill in the blanks with absurd imaginary scenarios?
Do you sometimes think that you are going crazy?
The answer to the above questions, although complex and often confusing, can be given in two words: Retroactive Jealousy.
Feeling jealous is normal. No one is thrilled about their partner's dating history; however, unlike the garden variety green-eyed monster, retroactive jealousy (RJ) describes an obsession or feelings of envy related to your partner's past, typically around their previous romantic or sexual relationships.
Do you feel like you are trapped in an endless loop of negative thoughts, mentally exhausted, drained and short of energy?
Letting retroactive jealousy escalate can be harmful to your peace of mind and your relationship.
I recommend that you read this book if:
- You find yourself ruminating about your partner's past: You might find yourself repeatedly thinking about your partner's past and feeling envious of their previous partners.
- You digitally stalk their ex: You are on a casual FB, Instagram or Tik Tok scroll when you see a vaguely familiar name put like or comment on your partner's friend's post. Before you know it, you get sucked in, you find yourself lurking on your partner ex's profile trying to dig up all the information that you can.
- You are always making comparisons: You might narrow in on a specific person your partner dated before you and compare yourself to them.
- You doubt your partner: Jealousy can cause you to engage in unhealthy relationship behaviours such as checking up on your partner, doubting their word, or going through their phone.You may find yourself calling their friends or their workplace to check on their whereabouts, or reading their text messages to their ex.
- You find yourself imagining missing details: If you are unaware of the details of your partner's romantic history, it could be more enticing to imagine a more idealised version of their past. You might fear that your partner dated the most perfect, successful and beautiful people before you.
RJ could be hell, you feel confused and misunderstood by your partner and friends.
The good news? You can work through these feelings.
Fortunately, there are methods in this manual to identify and interrupt dysfunctional patterns and cultivate new ones that are helpful and tailored to you. It is important to do this for yourself and your loved ones.
You probably hate yourself for all those thoughts that obsess you, but before you start reading this manual I want you to be aware of three things:
Everything you are experiencing is not ridiculous, you are not crazy, and you are not alone.
There is a way out and it is an extremely liberating feeling.
This book was written for you. Act now!
