This is a story that begins in 1974. A beer drinking, pot smoking teenager with a troubled home finds himself stuck in a behavior modification drug rehab in the south, four months before his 15th birthday. Two years later he re-emerges in his home town; a stranger to everyone including himself. His re-entry into normal life is saddled with mental entanglements, confusion, and cognitive hitches; residual effects from the cult style programming. His identity shattered, he finds himself veering off course. After repeated failures to reclaim his self and get back on track he looks to psychotropic drugs to "brainwash the brainwashing". That too would be a dead end. His downward descent begins a short six years after returning to the Washington DC area. He starts shooting narcotics in 1982 during the heyday of the anti-drug straight edge movement born out of DC hardcore punk. The story details his sojourn into oblivion, dope sickness and despair while drifting in and out of the local music scene. Ultimately the author knows he must find his own path, confront the ghosts from his past and reject the lies and life of the drug world on his own terms. This is a gripping story that sheds light into the bizarre methods of behavior modification rehabs and the secretive world of narcotics addiction. The forces that shape the impulses of the addict and the internal tumult are well detailed in the authors unique voice that is both cynical and self aware. Like many stories of serious drug abuse there are miscommunications, flawed relationships, near death encounters, violence and tragedy. There are also many lighter moments while the rise and fall of the DC hardcore scene along with the authors interest and involvement in music play out. His metamorphosis is a classic tale of trial by experience as his resolve to stop using drugs evolves out of his pain and loss. He struggles not only with the drugs that keep him in bondage but also with the programming that dogged him for years. After years of ups and downs, relapses, overdoses and failed attempts at getting clean, he finally builds a solid foundation with the help of methadone maintenance. His desire to live a normal life, to reunite with his wife and to continue with his artistic pursuits rises to the surface to overcome his destructive impulses. This not just another druggie diatribe. This is an honest and revealing account by a former addict who looks inside himself for answers and attempts to get at the truth. He breaks down common street myths and showcases the human condition in his stories. This book explores the power and influence that pop culture, the media, and peer groups wield over our values, our thinking, our self-image and identity.