Not Too Frayed to Fly is a must read whether you have just lost a loved one and are seeking to understand what it means for the rest of your life, or whether you are still with a partner and wish to be prepared for the moment when one of you will remain alone.
Death takes an important toll on the living. When your loved one dies, something within you dies also. Your world crashes; your confidence shatters; your sense of self shrinks; and your identity disappears. Yet you continue to breathe.
Betts McCalla takes us on a rollercoaster ride with her as she bounces from grief--to overwhelmingly joyous memories--to what you need to know to survive. From the opening words that she kept repeating to herself, "You're scared. You are going to be okay. He's dead. You're not dead." you will be caught up in the power of her naked soul as she shares all that matters.
Betts McCalla invites us into the intimacy of her heart and thoughts. We are introduced to Jerry, her soulmate and spouse, sharing their special story. Whatever the memory, it somehow connects you to Betts and Jerry, drawing you into their unique loving relationship. Little things become enormously important. She teases us to laugh and cry with her as she shares her journey from being a wet body of tears to seeking how to live without Jerry while still feeling his presence.
Hers is a story of bravery and humor as she takes control and drives through the United States to rediscover life. It is also a story of restoration, moving from total devastation to a new wholeness.
Amidst all this are savory tips for each of us. What to do and what not to do. She warns and informs us of scams that prey on those who are weak with grief. She advises us on how we can best help the friend who has lost a spouse. She guides us through steps to reclaim our "self." She challenges us and inspires us, offering herself as a role model.
Conversations to prepare for the future are common and such discussions are essential as we grow older. Betts has given us a treasure trove of information in Chapter 3, First 30 Days Financial Work we don't really want to deal with, yet we must. It is invaluable. The time to prepare is now when we are together and both healthy. The death of a partner is a reality of the life cycle. We cannot ignore the certainty of death. Yet we are never quite prepared for the finality of it. Nor do we foresee the stress of finding our way around a mountain of paperwork when we are fraught with endless emotion.
Not Too Frayed to Fly is a gift to the world. Each of us will benefit from reading this book. It is the story of grief, memories of precious moments and joyous living, questioning what is next, and hope. It is for those who have lost a loved one and those who wish to be prepared. It will help you move from grief to peace.
Betts McCalla is an indie publisher, speaker, and author.
