"Once a loser, always a loser.", we say."He's a mule that cannot be reasoned with. That's just the way he is.", we complain.We file ourselves and others into categories seemingly cast in stone, and resign ourselves to navigating life at the mercy of the cards that have been dealt to us. But what if this need not be the case?

What if we were to see ourselves and others not as immovable islands in the oceans of circumstances, but rather as ships with sails hoisted high, able to move and choose freely in the face of life's currents and winds?

The fact of the matter is that behaviors that have been learned can be unlearned. Ways of thinking that have become normal and practically automatic can be redefined. Our capacity for adaptation is worth bearing in mind. As a result of acknowledging the ways in which our brains and bodies either help or hinder us in a variety of contexts, we are empowered to adopt strategies that move us ever closer to the very tangible realities of contentment and accomplishment.

That is the purpose of this book: to understand the various rules (or Meta-Programs) which govern neurological and physiological interaction and the resultant impact on our thoughts, feelings and actions, and to better learn how to make intentional choices that facilitate the healthy and constructive aspects of these interactions and impacts.

Imagine, if you would, two towns that are separated by an insurmountable mountain. Interaction and communication between them is totally cut-off. If one town represents the brain and nervous system, and the other town the thinking processes, perceptions and behavior, then Meta-Programs would act as a tunnel engineered to cut through the mountain, linking the two and facilitating the flow of information between them. The Meta-Programs determine our tendency to make a decision in a certain frame of thinking. That's quite a vague statement, isn't it? Let's see...

For example, if you tend to look how things "match" each other, it will be easier to persuade you to buy a new car if the salesman shows you how the shape of the car helps to quiet the engine noise, and how the automatic gear shifts smoothly with your style of driving, and how the price of the car can be divided into installments that match your existing financial capabilities perfectly...

But if you tend to find the "mismatch", or the things that are in conflict - the salesman would have to constantly compare the car you look at with a less attractive car and show you the differences and how the car you're looking at is much better - he'll show you the difference in price, the mileage in the city, the safety features, etc., but always in comparison to another car, one which you didn't even consider buying.

Being mindful of the Meta-Programs helps us understand and appreciate the differences in the ways that people behave with and respond to the world around them. Rather than seeing these differences as obstacles or irritations, an understanding of Meta-Programs empowers us to adapt our own behaviors and responses in ways that match and complement their own.

Meta-Programs are therefore useful in overcoming division and misunderstanding, and in facilitating synergy and co-operation. Teachers could use Meta-Programs to more effectively keep their students engaged. Police officers could use them to better facilitate the diffusion of high-stress situations. Meta-Programs would benefit parents who need to discipline their kids and who are trying to motivate the behavior that they desire. The list is practically endless.

In this book we outline and explain each of the 57 Meta-Programs and provide helpful advice on how to identify them in yourself and others. You can use these to become more influential, and of course to be mindful and aware when and how others are pushing your buttons.

57 Meta-Programs are quite a lot, so let's tackle them one at a t