If you are an ACOA, your childhood was probably something like this: You grew up in a home where your father, mother, or both parents were alcoholics. Your environment was unsettling, unstable and unpredictable from day to day. You couldn't predict whether your caregiver would be drunk, sleeping, sick, or violent - or even present at all. Your home may have been loud, full of strangers and rather intense at times; and then quite sleepy and disconnected at others.
Although settings and circumstances are erratic and differ vastly, primarily, you never knew what to expect. You learned to become reactive.You may have been a victim of (or witness to) verbal or physical abuse. You were certainly a witness to your parents' conflicts. Abuse and conflict became a norm to you, and you learned to become reclusive and defensive.
You probably had good times as well - 'honeymoon' periods where everything was relatively okay. Parents were sober, and these times were less cloudy and more carefree. Then there may have been times when you sided with your drunk parent because it was fun. You could share mutual secrets, or they allowed you to do the things you wanted, such as watch TV till late. At other times, you may have sided with your sober parent, helping them overcome their anger or frustration.You felt mature and worthy because you were able to contribute to your family in such a way, while you learned to become or attracted to (or by) the issues of others, at the expense of your own.Which, I hasten to add, you probably didn't even realize were issues at the time, or would become issues in adulthood. In short, the erratic and unpredictable nature of the childhood years of growing up in an alcoholic home has been universally identified as the 'culprit' for the myriad of unwanted psychological symptoms in adulthood. Because help is at hand, and a better life, free from the limitations and encumbrances of ACOA Syndrome awaits you at the end of your journey through this book.
This book is for adults who have grown up in homes where drugs and alcohol were abused. It is written by Sofya Vasilyeva, Psy.D., coach who personally struggled with issues growing up in such an environment and has developed a system to help ACOAs after helping many people through her one on one sessions.
It is an eight chapter book and workbook in one and is designed to help you understand and begin to overcome common symptoms of ACOA such as
- denial of emotions
- low self esteem
- negative critical voice
- fear of authority
- isolation from people
- awareness of attachment styles
- attraction to toxic relationships
This is a no-nonsense approach to help you understand how your upbringing harms you today, break out of toxic family patterns and let go of past hurts.