After three decades living with depression Mario Dieringer took his own life in December 2014. Aged 47 at the time he emphasises repeatedly, "It was not a free decision". The suicide attempt worked out. At least for five minutes until he was resuscitated. Mario was found by his later life partner Jose. He was resuscitated and just barely escaped death. His partner Jose took his own life at Easter 2016. He suffered a life time, 49 years, from depressions and suicidal thoughts. He was not brought back to life.What happened afterwards shook Dieringer so much that he could no longer think of a normal life. In the same year, he founded the TREES of MEMORY project with which he hikes around the world planting trees in memory of suicide victims. This led to the founding of the non-profit association TREES of MEMORY e.V., which is involved in suicide prevention and after a suicide supports the bereaved with sponsors as a "first point of contact". Mario informs people about the possibilities of dealing with depression and fights against the stigma of suicide and for an open approach in society to this illness.In a mixture of biographical episodes and his personal life perspectives, he depicts the journey into the mental underworld and back into the light. Sometimes he describes his emotions in a richly illustrated way, sometimes he is direct, unembellished and tough, in order to take the reader on a journey back into life and into a future. He adds some helpful philosophical aspects too. He impressively describes how he counters and eliminates his depressions and suicidal tendencies.The former TV journalist believes that suicide should no longer be a taboo subject. "Maybe there is no final way out of depression and suicidality but there are ways to make this illness almost impalpable and to lead a happy, self-determined life. "I have succeeded in doing this and there is no reason why I should remain the only one," says the author. With this book, he wants to show sufferers ways to become aware of and implement new perspectives to successfully resist the potentially fatal illness of depression.This book describes a child's journey into the mental underworld, right down to being on the verge of death. It is my journey back into the light, into a life and into the future of an adult whose inner child has never given up dreaming. Now I have happily dedicated myself to my future dream. It is not always simple, but is healing.This book is very personal and contains information and descriptions that would be far too private for most people to share with the world. I have made a conscious decision to publish my experiences, facts, dates, circumstances and personal interpretations. Only in this way is it possible to understand how my depressions arose and how they have developed over the years. This is the only way for readers and those affected to come closer to my suicide attempt and to gain the necessary understanding. I am convinced that it takes every single chapter to understand how I managed to find my way out of the deadly impasse and back into a life full of joy, fulfilment and exciting future prospects.My hope is that readers will find themselves again in this book and learn to understand what makes them tick.I would be extremely happy if you could find a sentence, a section or a chapter on the following pages that explains your life perspective and helps to change it in some positive way. I would be blessed if this book could free just one person from depression or suicidal tendencies. Perhaps it will help to save those affected in the future.