Sometimes I can see Lucifer, or at least the version of him that appears around my house. He is a big man, probably six and a half feet tall, built like a lumberjack. His bushy hair, wild beard and ample mustache are bright red, his eyes an intense, steely blue. Lucifer keeps his hands in his back pockets a lot, and he paces around in a circle constantly, working on his ideas. I have never noticed Lucifer having any horns or a tail, but he is a fairly imposing character anyway. It is a good thing that Lucifer appears in spirit form, otherwise he would be knocking down walls. Lucifer never said, but I imagine that the image I see of him has some parallel to a body he currently inhabits here on earth. Lucifer is getting his temper up; says he does not want me to spend much time writing things that are not directly his words. He does not mind me sticking in my little bit here at the front, but he wants me to get out of the way and start delivering the important stuff. His stuff. Lucifer asked me to remind all you critics and professors to remember what he said about insulting any of his pet writers and to take him for his word, because Lucifer never lies. He never has to. Lucifer says I can shoulder in a couple more paragraphs of my own, as long as they are about him. According to Lucifer, a lot of the world's spiritual problems are caused by psychiatrists, psychologists, philosophers, and pretentious morons who claim to be psychic. Lucifer insists that such people are among the meanest of the world's con artists. Lucifer gets furious when he hears about some new pop psychology book on the market that throws out some brain-dead idiot's opinion about life. According to Lucifer, his book will put an end to all the phony philosophies and all the idiot psychologists and psychiatrists who sell their books full of ignorance to the public. Lucifer told me he could simply kill them all and end the problem, but he prefers to let them live and suffer the consequences of spreading their ignorance. I will leave the picture in a minute and give you Lucifer's own words. Lucifer likes to put humor in his writing, because he says people are not worth much without humor. Now and then, Lucifer seems to contradict himself, but he claims it merely an allegory hidden in an illusion. On occasion, Lucifer also exaggerates, which he says is necessary since people have limited intelligence and need to be shown a universe to understand a marble. What Lucifer reveals in his book comes from the wisdom of his living for eternity, and I can feel in Lucifer's soul that he has seen a lot and suffered a lot. Lucifer tries to scare people mostly because he feels that people should get a little afraid of taking care of God's greatest gift, which Lucifer says is life. I know that deep in his heart Lucifer serves only God and loves God with all Lucifer is, and Lucifer loves all that God created and would never unjustly harm or disrespect even the least of God's creations. Now I will move aside and let Lucifer give you his version of how he sees life.