This slanderous book was written by the Lounge Lizard, who has an advanced degree in Debauchery from Marquis deSade University.
You've seen lounge lizards all of your life whenever you enter the latest pickup joint where the voluptuous femme fatales congregate. He is the reptilian creature who's dressed to the hilt and overwhelms the room with a cornucopia of aftershave lotions while spewing endorphins to reel in any woman within 20 feet. He's the sly fox who starts out the night with a target of meeting the perfect physical specimen of a woman and after six zombies will likely wind up with someone who looks like his Mother's older best friend. But it's OK - as long as he scores - for his objective is to get laid as often as possible with a hit list that varies from Miss America to the ugliest barker in the kennel.
He spent many years participating in and carefully observing the pros and cons of single life versus marriage, and especially why men ignorantly leap into the potential death trap of marriage without the slightest idea of the consequences that lie ahead, after divorcing many years ago. He has carefully observed men's and women's actions in the dating scene, the happily and miserably married, and the ugly and often repeated divorce scene, so I speak to you from personal experience and not from some shrink's analysis of marriage statistics.
The differences between men and women are as obvious as the nose on your face. Contrary to the most important words in a woman's vocabulary, the only "relationship" most men understand is that between a beer bottle and his lips. From the time men recognize they have a penis and it's useful for playtime, they devote their life to sex, sports and booze. In that instant when the sperm joins the egg, women are locked into fanatical devotion to marriage, children and a McMansion in Snobsville.
Men have nowhere to turn when they seek any form of advice on the marriage penitentiary. Men don't ask other men. This is your one opportunity to obtain real-world advice with biting humor from someone who's been down the marriage and divorce Highway to Hell.
Occasionally, a few men claim to legitimately fall in love with their wives, but for the most part men marry to have a permanent captured sex partner and someone to wash their "ripe" underwear they begrudgingly change once a year. The vast percentage of marriages I've witnessed were doomed for the executioner's block in the earliest stages of the coupling.
Have you actually sat down and had a serious conversation with the little woman about what you both expect out of the marriage, or about critical issues in your marriage? The Lounge Lizard's Compatibility Quiz offers you an opportunity to size up your chances of a harmonious long-term marriage. This quiz is not only for men dropping on bended knee to ask the eternal question, but also anyone considering divorce. You'll learn much about your prospects for harmony.
The book will answer a few examples of the many questions that may be lurking in your alcohol-pickled brain:
- What are the real reasons men get married?
- Should I get married, stay single, or even open my own brothel?
- Am I better off with prostitutes or "sexbots?"
- Should I consider divorce or simply "whack" the old lady?
- How can I personally improve my sex life?
If you have friends of family members who are contemplating joining the legions of miserably married men and women, save them from a fate worse than death. Offer them this book before it's too late so they'll know the real truth about marriage and the horrors of the divorce slaughter that often follows.
