Perhaps the greatest human disappointment is that we all die. This book deals with problems of living and acceptance of death. It provides knowledge and skill resources needed to come to terms with both life and death. Many people react by denying, pretending or minimizing. They may harbor a fantasy that we all live in a world everlasting and that we, too, are everlasting. Once born, we have a 100% chance of dying. The only question is when. The institutional answer to our disappointment is organized religion, prayer, theology, reassurance, and externalizing the problem of death to a distant, idealized and personal God. Deep down inside, we all know the truth. This book is based on a simple notion: we can all learn to cope with the issues of living in a natural world in which we die. Although narrower in scope, this book is in the tradition of the large questions which are always relevant to human-kind. For example, the meaning of life, how to live a life, what is truth, where truth and justice lie. This book takes a substantial departure from the supernatural world offered by many world religious traditions and the personal and institutionalized denial supported by prayer to an external personal God. An analysis of the problem is provided together with a path toward a personal solution. The path requires the seeker to do both intellectual and emotional work. We need to understand the problem that is smothering us and we need to equip ourselves for action. The strategies offered for making needed changes include: skepticism, problem analysis, knowledge and understanding, skill development, confronting the realities of the natural world and coming to terms with who we are as people. In addition to conceptual approaches, there are practical remedies incorporated in a methods section. These include; personal growth, refuting obsolete beliefs, relaxation skills and meditation skills. The connection between deep muscle relaxation, meditation and avenues of personal and psychological change are developed. The reader is invited to become a new person of their own making. The book provides only the opportunity and the means. Readers will need to deliver the motivation, the sustained energy, and the tenacity to make the life changes they wish to achieve. At its core, this is a self-help book written by a psychologist. However, the emphasis here is more fundamental than learning behavioral self-regulation or being a fully functioning person. The focus is on coping with the problems of life and death. More than getting our affairs in order, we need to come to terms with ourselves. In order to do so, we need to cultivate the grit to face up to the many challenging questions before us. Issues like anxiety, mood, communication skills and behavioral tune-up remain highly relevant, but there are much larger issues. The book offers a path to both good living and good dying.
About the Author: With more than 35 years practical experience in psychology practice and teaching, I bring a substantial understanding of people's strengths, skills and resources as well as their stressors, fears, and vulnerabilities. These clinical skills, together with a practical commitment to make sense out of my own life converge to inspire this book. I am now retired from active clinical service, but retain an understanding of, not only personal and clinical problems, but also the genuine angst experienced by people struggling with a religious heritage that does not work for them. I have published in the areas of professional and ethical issues, interpersonal relationships, and skills and served as an editorial reviewer for a professional psychology journals.