Even among the healthiest and happiest of couples, there are times when both partners suffer from common emotional dilemmas and a diminished ability to communicate.
Even highly functional couples occasionally find themselves caught in the crossfire of serious misunderstandings. Sometimes they simply lack the structure and methods (i.e., the Tools) to resolve their differences.
In many of these good relationships, there doesn't seem to be any real need for professional therapy. Yet some Tools might be quite helpful in their quest to deepen their understanding of one another. It's my hope that this book can be of significant assistance to those fundamentally healthy couples.
Another audience for whom this book is appropriate is those individuals and couples who are curious and adventurous, seekers after knowledge and experience. Some of them may be exploring the world of dating in search of a potential life partner. Several of these Tools could be extremely helpful in this context.
Other readers may simply be curious about what a "committed" relationship might involve. Or they may need some Tools to help them eliminate potential mates at an early stage, avoiding unproductive investments of time and energy.
Still other individuals are devoted to objective research, strongly motivated to know exactly how a "potential mate" might respond to some of the Tools described in this book.
Whether you're currently in a committed relationship or testing the waters for a possible mate, it might be worth your time to consider how the Tools I've described here might be useful in your quest for a deep connection with the right person.
In none of these instances would professional counseling be a necessity. Yet the effective use of some of these Tools might help prevent a marriage that never should have been, by disclosing at an early stage of relationship some "non-negotiable" differences or incompatibilities that would disqualify a potential mate.
For the most part, however, any couple's sincere desire to enrich or clarify their love relationship can be served by the use of these Tools.
In the stressful world we all live in, many couples have inadvertently allowed the intimacy in their relationship to slip away, falter or fracture. Perhaps that once romantic bond has weakened over time, simply from the pressure of such day-to-day burdens as children, bills, dual careers and/or illnesses.
To make a start on reversing these deficits takes a certain amount of personal discipline and a bit of time set aside, in order to make effective use of the Tools described in Part II.
But be assured that it is possible for these exercises to produce
a powerful sense of clarity--about the information (and determination) required to help your love grow and thrive.
Some of these Tools, more than others, can produce a certain amount of discomfort, punctuated by moments of real pain. However, it is through these processes that honest feedback, genuine caring and empathy can emerge.
There is no great complexity--no high learning curve--involved in working with any of the Tools, which are self-explanatory. But it does take the will and the personal discipline to walk through any discomfort, awkwardness or fear that might arise.
The results of persisting through these rough places can be so rewarding, so informative, so empowering that achieving these breakthroughs is well worth the journey.
There is even greater satisfaction when certain behaviors are modified, changes are made, and attitudes are adjusted as a result of using the Tools.
It's worth your effort.
