I and my chimney, two grey-headed old smokers, reside in the country. We are, Imay say, old settlers here; particularly my old chimney, which settles more and moreevery day.Though I always say, I AND MY CHIMNEY, as Cardinal Wolsey used to say, "IAND MY KING," yet this egotistic way of speaking, wherein I take precedence ofmy chimney, is hereby borne out by the facts; in everything, except the above phrase, my chimney taking precedence of me.Within thirty feet of the turf-sided road, my chimney-a huge, corpulent old HarryVIII of a chimney-rises full in front of me and all my possessions. Standing well upa hillside, my chimney, like Lord Rosse's monster telescope, swung vertical to hit themeridian moon, is the first object to greet the approaching traveler's eye, nor is it thelast which the sun salutes. My chimney, too, is before me in receiving the first-fruitsof the seasons. The snow is on its head ere on my hat; and every spring, as in a hollowbeech tree, the first swallows build their nests in it.But it is within doors that the pre-eminence of my chimney is most manifest. Whenin the rear room, set apart for that object, I stand to receive my guests (who, by theway call more, I suspect, to see my chimney than me) I then stand, not so muchbefore, as, strictly speaking, behind my chimney, which is, indeed, the true host. Notthat I demur. In the presence of my betters, I hope I know my place.From this habitual precedence of my chimney over me, some even think that Ihave got into a sad rearward way altogether; in short, from standing behind my oldfashioned chimney so much, I have got to be quite behind the age too, as well asrunning behindhand in everything else. But to tell the truth, I never was a veryforward old fellow, nor what my farming neighbors call a forehanded one. Indeed, those rumors about my behindhandedness are so far correct, that I have an oddsauntering way with me sometimes of going about with my hands behind my back. Asfor my belonging to the rear-guard in general, certain it is, I bring up the rear of mychimney-which, by the way, is this moment before me-and that, too, both in fancyand fact. In brief, my chimney is my superior; my superior, too, in that humblybowing over with shovel and tongs, I much minister to it; yet never does it minister, or incline over to me; but, if anything, in its settlings, rather leans the other way.My chimney is grand seignior here-the one great domineering object, not more ofthe landscape, than of the house; all the rest of which house, in each architecturalarrangement, as may shortly appear, is, in the most marked manner, accommodated, not to my wants, but to my chimney's, which, among other things, has the centre ofthe house to himself, leaving but the odd holes and corners to me.But I and my chimney must explain; and as we are both rather obese, we may haveto expati