Hint: in order to become a lousier, i.e., better Comedian you have to practice, practice, and practice your comedy all the time and listen to the tapes you make in a recorder or that you write down on a 3X5 Card. You can choose from Physical Comedy, Stand Up Comedy w/ a 3X5 Card or Improvisation (making stuff up on the spot) or any other kind of comedy that is preferably memorized. Committing your comedy to memory means that you really did something good as you can't screw it up unless of course you get drunk, high or distracted before the show happens. BAD IDEA: Stay Sober and have a drink of whatever beverage you like drinking AFTER THE SHOW HAPPENS: that's your REWARD FOR DOING A LOUSY or GREAT JOB. Make sure that before you decide to show up to a Comedy Club that you know the following: Comedy Clubs & Comedians who run show DISCRIMINATE AGAINST EVERYBODY & find out what the RULES are before you decide to just show up out of the blue: it pays to be prepared in advance of showing up expecting to get put on the stage. That just won't cut it. You have to practice your "unfunny" comedy any chance you get and just because a joke worked in one club doesn't mean that it's going to work in another club as the night always changes and so do the clientele that go to Comedy Clubs all over the world. Being a "Comedian" is like a 'One Nite Stand' every time you go: your funny/fun loving lover is your audience. It's up to you to write or find jokes that you've rehearsed in front of people so you can know what does and doesn't work. Practicing your craft is like learning how to create a "Craft Beer", to make a cabinet or learning how to sing on key thru a broken nose. REMEMBER: your "Comedy Career" is not going to become a career in the finest sense of the words written here unless it's meant to be. You want to get paid for your comedy: write a book, make an Audio Book or bring a hat or sand pail with you when you perform your act and hand it out to any Audience Member, not the person ruining the show, I mean running the show. Chances are that the person who is running the "Comedy Show" that night is being paid by the owner of the bar/club/venue or at the very least the person who is running the bar for the evening. It's best to focus on becoming an "Amateur Comedian" and not a "Professional Stand Up Comedian" as that implies your being PAID regularly and you know that isn't happening anytime soon unless you follow what I just wrote a few sentences back about getting paid for your hard earned writing and Potty Mouth, i.e., diarrhea of the potty mouth; coming up with a set list that you know works for you and not necessarily your audience is what you need to do. Not everybody is meant succeed all the time: that's the beauty of being a "Stand-Up Comedian": you get to keep doing it when there are shows available and practicing your craft is what's going to get you INVITED TO OTHER COMEDY CLUBS OUTSIDE OF WHEREVER YOU LIVE. When you fail miserably with your material just remember that you can always break out the worst joke in the world: it's called 'The Aristocrats Joke': throw that at your audience in a really high pitched voice: make it sound like you had sex w/ your whole family in any way, shape or form to bring your audience back to listening to you and you will become a successful comedian. Make sure that you moan and groan as the Audience is GUARANTEED TO LAUGH NO MATTER WHAT. Remember that after you have brought out this "little shop of horrors story/joke" that your audience is going to really want to "kill" your comedy set so make sure that you get back to your "Set List" and give it all you've got. That's the Rule #1. RULE #1 SECRET to becoming a good comedian: keep failing until you get what you want out of speaking to an audience and making them laugh when you do your "Comedy Sets". Eventually, you will get really good at being a sucksexful (successful) comedian: It's not that your material sucks: did you ever think that