"Mr. Carlin. You have Alzheimer's disease."
Almost six million people in the U.S. are suffering with Alzheimer's disease. As a child, spouse, loved one, or care-giver, you see them deteriorate into a shell of their former self. As their mind weakens, your heart breaks. But there's strength and hope to be found in the experiences of others.
You will find yourself in the details of this family's journey.
In 2013, Ronald Carlin stepped onto the battlefield when his enemy became too prevalent to deny. His wife, Donna, and his daughters, Denise and Julie were by his side. Armed with faith, love, and a desire to live, they locked hands and hearts and fought together. It was a family affair because this group of four and their husbands and children all did life together. They met this disease face-on knowing that one of them would not survive.
Unrelenting. Irreversible. Alzheimer's proved to be a formidable opponent. It required the family to educate themselves, have patience, and to be strong even when they were weary.
The author tells the story of their experience with emotion and transparency. It's an ugly disease and it affects everyone involved in different ways. She explores the stages of Alzheimer's and the stages of grief; illustrating how one does not exist without the other on this journey. In the new, ever-changing world, you must keep up and keep going.
Intertwined among the doctor visits and new realities, you find Ronnie Carlin. He was a smart man who loved to laugh and never turned down ice cream. He loved oldies rock-n-roll music and Cajun jokes. He was brave and relentless in his resolve to continue being an independent man. Even after his freedom was cruelly stripped from him, he continued wanting to serve others. Asking him to help, rather than telling him what to do, proved to be the best way to get him to cooperate.
He loved his family until the day he died. His heart stayed strong long after his mind faded. The image used for the cover of the book, an MRI taken nine-months before his death, is an image of who he was in his innermost being.
A certified public accountant by trade, he loved doing taxes and taught accounting courses at a local college for many years. An outdoors man by nature, he spent Saturdays at his camp, a place he considered paradise, full of pine trees, deer, and palmetto bushes. His pond, stocked with bass and home to two wood-duck boxes, was his favorite place on earth. The "Carlin Killin' Time Ranch" played a pivotal role in his journey, not once, but twice. Lastly, and most importantly, he was a Godly man by grace. He loved the Lord and his church. He prayed for healing and understanding. As his disease progressed, his blessings over meals changed from thanking God for the food to conversations with his Father about people at the table and the day's activities. Amen became "talk to you later." Formality dissipated along with his mind, but his loving relationship with God never diminished.
He Was so many things. He was a son, a brother, a husband, a father, a grandfather, an accountant, a gardener, a drummer, a jitter-bugger, and so much more.
He Was is a memoir of this father's journey, written from a daughter's heart. It does something that Alzheimer's and dementia attempted to erase. It reminds the reader Alzheimer's was his battle. It was not who He Was.
