From reading the title of this book, one might assume that Im a disgruntled African American man who after having had several bad experiences with African American women uses this platform to undermine the hard work of African American parents who raised their daughters to one day become strong vibrant women in society, loving wives to their husbands, and nurturing mothers to their children. Not so. Had Black Girls Been Family Orientated paints a vivid picture of various dilemmas many African American women face after entering relationships. You know those single, broken, widowed, and married women who face and make decisions that affect them and their families every day. However, what makes life the more challenging is that many of them are later disappointed to find that everything their loving grandmammas, mommas, and favorite aunties passed on to them was not always accurate. Some face the raw reality that God did not put every marriage together, and because a man has been working since he was eleven years old, has a good job today, and can lay the foundation for her house and throw up four walls to it does not mean he will connect with her emotionally, nurture her, love her as she deserves, and crown her as the queen of it. I am a strong believer that an uneducated woman is in trouble no matter where she is in life. Whether she dwells in the board room, sports a blue collar on the slab, or lingers in the streets among thugs and hustlers, a woman must be in the know and not allow any man, or any contradictory traditions to limit or cloud her perception of what love should be for her. Having limited knowledge of such can lead a woman into relationships that are so hazardous that she never recovers from it. Some women lead an endless unhappy life with their guards up while constantly relying on inward intuition as a guiding light for them. Sometimes their inward intuition serves them well, and sometimes its all in their head. Some women are constantly revisited by memories of the man who became so frustrated with himself and everything around him that he abandoned her, leaving her loverupt, and sometimes with children. For another group of women acting out serves as a safety tactic to keep all men at bay while some hold no regard for the men in their lives. Then as the world gets colder there are a group of women who after being hurt so much they stand in the cold outside of the potentially warm relationship that awaits their entrance. And then there are those women who after enduring the long disappointing rollercoaster ride finally gets off, but after a temporary break from the ride they find themselves settling for the same ol no good kind of man who hurts them. And as men, we are not excluded, for we praise her home cooked meals but frown on her feisty attitude and insecurities of which may have derived from her childhood. We admire the woman who has achieved degrees and met countless goals in life but is also expected to embrace whats traditional, a husband and children when perhaps she wants neither? Does she not deserve to be loved? So before one judges the man behind this book cover, take into consideration that I too, am all for Girl Power! But there is no power to be, until women attain the full truth about selflove that exceeds family tradition, public opinion, ideologies, dogma, peer pressure, vain pride, and victimization. Its so easy to say love is what love does, but what is love? Ive learned that love is the dual force which speaks as a testament of the wholesomeness shared between two people whose relationship endured the tests of time and trials. Harry Saffold Jr.