I realised that we all have to face the lost and death of a loved one whether a blood relative or just a plain simple close friend at some point in our entire lives. i ALSO realised for myself this here year after the sudden and unexpected death of my 2 mom who was indeed that in all ways but deed that FOLKS the world over in and out of church BOTH are CLUELESS, TACTLESS, HEARTLESS, COLD and UNFEELING WHEN IT COME TO knowing the rigth and wrong thing to SAY AND DO ALONG WITH NOT SAY AND DO to a grieving person. too many time the COMMENTS folk made to me like GET OVER IT, STOP THE CRYING FOR IT NOT GOING TO BRING HER BACK AND BLAME FOR HER UNEXPECTED DEATH didnt help me in my pain and suffering INSTEAD it did me MORE HARM THEN GOOD and was a hit below the belt LITERALLY. it made my SADDNESS, GRIEF AND PAIN worse TO THEN IT ALL NEEDED TO be. it REALLY was for ME anyway a TRUE case of BEING KICKED when YOU are already all down and low by everyone that wasnt themselves going through my UPSET so the TRUE understanding of it all JUST wasnt there of what was REALLY going on. i hence have written this here BOOK of mine of GRIEF PROCESS dos and donts both words and actions WISE for FOLKS to follow when dealing with a GRIEVED, GRIEVING, MOURNING, UPSET and TROUBLED person. at the end of the day we ALL have to go through the GRIEF PROCESS. i want to SAVE those that are GRIEVED on a very high SCALE like i remain up to TODAY the UNWANTED and UNHELPFUL words of other whose ATTENTION make us feel ten time worse INSTEAD OF BETTER when folk open their mouths to us. the IMPACT of a death and a lost is either a small or big one ALONG with our reaction to it as WELL. some folk APPEAR to be unaffected by a death both expected and unexpected. OTHER like me are all very BADLY and GREATLY affected by the death. we ALL do react, respond and ARE indeed affected by the death of a loved one whether it be your blood relative or a friend. anyone that says and claims to not at ALL be so is a bold faceted liar. for some folk that lose somebody they were use to seeing the deceased person EVERY day of each week OR speaking to the deceased person over the telephone whether it was home phone or mobile SO they will ESPECIALLY miss the gone person not on the same scale as the blood relative But miss the person STILL. for OTHER folk they didnt see or speak to the deceased person dailey at ALL but such was the relationship, connection and bond with the person now gone that the lost of the person is VERY severe and the person is henceforth greatly missed NOW. IT IS VERY KEY AND IMPORTANT TO KNOW AND REMBER THAT REACTIONS AND COPING WITH A DEATH OF SOMEONE THAT WAS CLOSE TO OUR HEARTS AND LIVES DO REMAIN INDIVIDUALISED AND PERSONALISED TO THAT PARTICULAR PERSON GOING THROUGH IT AT THAT PARTICULAR MOMENT IN TIME PERIOD AND ALSO THAT THERE REMAIN NO SET, SLATED AND GIVEN TIME FRAME OF GRIEVING A LOST OF SOMEONE EITHER. some folk NEVER get over the death of someone EVER whilst other take years upon years to get over IT.