IN THE END WILL YOU OR YOUR HOSPITAL HAVE CONTROL OVER YOUR LIFE?
The Grievance: A Real Life-and-Death Story is a deeply moving personal memoir--much of it in riveting real time--of a husband's cautionary tale of the whirlwind of circumstances, decisions and emotions surrounding the death of his vibrant wife whom he knew and loved for more than 50 years. Just 40 days earlier, she was playing tennis and bridge and doing yoga--then she was gone. She had a living will that specifically stated what medical procedures were not acceptable and it was handed upon arrival to the staff at "The Hospital" where it languished in a loose-leaf binder.
Like Atul Gawande's New York Times best seller, Being Mortal and The Institute of Medicine's report Dying in America, readers will want to add The Grievance to the growing national conversation on end-of-life issues in America. The intense personal perspective will engage and empower the average person in this very real life-and-death struggle.
Anyone who has ever loved deeply will immediately be drawn in by the first chapter, the "Goodbye" of initmate and charming recollections, but it is the gripping, colorful real-time text messages between Abrams and his adult daughter, Meredith, and email exchanges with friends that will make readers stay as everyone (doctors and family alike) attempt to unravel the effects of a rare disease that eventually takes Sandra Abrams' life.
The Grievance is a record of keen observtions and anecdotes about our hospital system that doesn't seem to work as it should, of its humanity and inhumanity, of our institutions and the knee-jerk reactions of a society still unable to handle death. It is the voice and warnings of someone who has "been there" for those of us who will be--all of us--if not for ourselves, for someone we love.
Abrams questions why end-of-life in America has to be so brutal and champions necessary change, providing the tools and resources for those who "wish to avoid well-engineered end-of-life traps." Abrams says "Doctors are trained to save lives at almost any cost, supporting lenght of life, when they should be trained to support quality of life. The medical default position should be to honor a patient's choice first in an advanced directive that is included in the electronic medical records.
Join the Conversation
Readers who wish to join the conversation on end-of-life issues in America are invited to go to www.thegrievancebook.com, the author's website, and share their reactions and experiences. With Medicare now deciding to fund end-of-life conversations, it is more important than ever that consumers know how to proceed in a thoughtful manner. Says Abrams, "Each person experiences death only once and therefore is a novice. Hospitals must do a better job in the way they honor and educate their patients and their families on the best way to die. To ignore their obligation to 'do no harm' violates the basic tenets on which the medical establishment was founded. Other nations have discovered how to provide their citizens dignity at the end-of-life. Why don't Americans have the courage to do so?"
