"God hates divorce!" Christian wives hear this first part of Malachi 2:16 as though the institution of marriage trumps the lives wrapped up in it. Rarely quoted is the second part of the verse which says, "along with the one who conceals his violence by outward appearances."
A Christian wife often thinks she has only two options: endure abuse or face condemnation by God for not obeying the Bible. As a result, guilt, despair, confusion and heartache cloak every moment as she clings to survival, trying to please both God and her husband. The future looks hopeless and her identity and value obscured. Children grow up as secondary victims of the abuse, desensitized to God and primed to continue the cycle of abuse as adults.
God Hates Abuse Updated and Expanded: Abuse and the Doctrine of Headship and Submission speaks to women living under distorted theology of headship and submission. Many clergy endorse the man-made elitist view that God is an ally in subjugating women. They ignore an entire Bible full of warnings against oppression and abuse of any person, resulting in the increased pain and suffering of many wives in the name of God. This book confronts the tragedy that clergy and churches fail victims, blaming her and sending her away, while protecting and validating the abuser.
God Hates Abuse answers questions difficult for Christian victims of marital abuse. They may struggle with fear of disobeying the Bible, feel guilty about leaving (or wanting to leave) their husband, and be confused about what God wants from them under the circumstances. Topics include: the author's own inspiring story, how to know if abuse is happening, how to respond to abuse, proper interpretation of Scripture, biblical headship and submission, biblical concessions for leaving, grief and forgiveness, and getting free of debilitating fear.
Life-coaching helps the victim move from being stuck to being empowered to pursue the life she desires. The exercises help overcome regret, create boundaries, clear mental fog, detox relationships, guide in moving forward, and cultivate self-worth and self-care. Included are a risk assessment, a list of chronic personality problems, signs of an abusive parent, safety plans, and Scripture for prayer and meditation. An extensive resource list aids further research. Victims of spousal abuse will find this book validating, encouraging and healing, regardless if they are bound by their abuser or by errant religious teaching.
