About the Book
As an erotic writer, I have been getting many questions from people showing interest in various kinds of kink. Some consider me a sex expert, but I think I learn something new about sex and myself every day. I have been having a lot of sex for over 10 years, with many different men and in many different countries. My life has been mainly focused on sports and sex, in addition to some other things here and there.When I started exploring my sexuality, trying to learn more about sex and finding what I liked, I struggled to find useful information for gay men about more than regular sex. This book is my attempt to simplify kink and what it means to me. It covers the basics and should answer all the questions that a newbie to kink would like to know.I want to offer a book that will have accurate, honest, and straightforward information about sexuality. As I have found that portrayals of kink, aka BDSM, in the media, from novels and magazines to television and movies, are generally inaccurate, misleading, one-dimensional, or just plain wrong.I use 'kink' as a catch-all term that includes BDSM, sadomasochism, kinky sex, dominance and submission, role play, sex games, fantasy, and fetish. But that definition just leads to more terms that need defining! I will both define and expand on these words throughout this book, so for now, just relax.But what is kink really? And why do I do it? For me, kink is an intimate experience, an exchange of power between people that can be physical, erotic, sexual, psychological, spiritual, or, most often, some combination of these. It makes me explore the territory between pleasure and pain, eroticize the exchange of power, experience intense physical sensations and psychological scenarios, and test and push my limits. Kink can be a unique space where I feel safe enough to try new things, push my boundaries, flirt with edges, and conquer fears.The most important thing is "Consent" everyone is on board with what is going on and nothing happens against anyone's will. After that comes trust, communication, and safety. Kink is one area of the spectrum of sexual practices, so people do kink for as many reasons as people have sex: to give, to take, to connect, to discover, to trust, to experiment, to imagine, to learn, and to grow.Have you ever fantasised by reading fictional accounts of dominance and submission, power and lust, pleasure and pain, hot sex, and incredible orgasms? Or maybe you have been turned on by watching a porn video. Perhaps you have some reservations about these newfound fantasies. This book is a primer for gay men who are interested in kink and want to know more about it, learn how to negotiate with another guy, get some ideas, and explore different activities.It's meant to be an introduction to the world of kink from my perspective, and you will learn more about me on the way. I will talk about the truth behind common myths about kink, how to talk about your fantasies, common kinky terms and tenets, dominant/submissive role play, and sexual power games. I will also give some ideas, tips, and techniques for different kinky activities, including sensory deprivation, sensation play, bondage, spanking, flogging, and more.I hope reading this book, understanding the different types and definitions, as well as the glimpses of my own life I provide throughout the book, will give each of you a broader understanding and help to guide you further on your own journey into practicing your own version of kink.