There is nothing I am prouder of than the color of my skin. In the earlier years of my life, I thought it was a curse. As I got older, I learned that this is exactly how God made me. I learned to accept the hand I was dealt. In closing this book, I shared with you all of my pain, all of my feelings and emotions that I had built up for so long that I just couldn't express any other way but to share them through these lines and pages. I owe no one any apologies, and if I offended anyone, just speaking from my heart and from my pain, then you have some soul-searching to do yourself.
If so many of you have wondered about me, why do I often disappear and then reappear without any knowledge of where I have been? This book should answer all of those questions. I had a rough life, and instead of taking the Drug route or the guilt, or blaming someone else for my less fortune, I decided to put my head down and hit life head-on and 57 years later and counting, I am still standing and to be honest, I feel healthier and more at peace with myself. I have removed the negativity from my life and decided to make myself happy for a change.
You can accomplish anything that you want to in life. The only thing stopping you is you and the outside influence that you allow to infiltrate your mind and willpower. See those who doubt you or can't accomplish what you can plant seeds of negativity so you can continue to stay on their level. I know it is hard to leave these people because many of them you grew up with, many of them are your family members, and many of them may be people you see on a day-to-day basis. I am here to tell you right now: if what you are doing right here right now isn't what is truly in your heart, and you feel you can branch off on your own and make a better life for yourself, it is time to make a change.
The world needs individuals like yourself who go against the grain to challenge the status quo. You are the true pioneer who, through all odds, will make that difference. It could be inspiring just one person, or you could be a person that inspires a nation. You have it in yourself to improve the destiny of the future and many generations to come. As I, in my most humble way, try to inspire you through my words, I must look myself in the mirror and ask myself a question. Is God through with me? Am I doing God's will by reaching those who need his guidance and wisdom? I feel through this book, I am going to reach that one or several souls who need his love and motivation. I was 4 months into the book and almost decided not to finish this book. I began to get what many writers would call writer's block or the marathon in the middle syndrome. I was feeling sick for about two weeks without one day attempting to continue writing the final chapter and conclusion of this book. I needed a break to reflect on all the emotions I shared in this book to understand that I am at peace now with what I have shared with you all. This is only the beginning of my retirement journey and I promise you all I will continue writing because there is a part two to my life journey.
It has taken me half of a generation to find closure and happiness in my life. Sometimes, you must let go of some of the precious things you truly love to find your inner peace. For my father and mother abandoned me at the age of 6 years old, I forgive you. For the abuse that you put me through, Father, when I was a little kid, I forgive you now as I did when you called me in 2002 asking you for forgiveness. To my kids, Kiana and Dante, I love you both, and I made many sacrifices for the two of you. I truly hope that one day, our relationship will be as strong as the childhood memories I still hold on to. You both are true adults, but little do you know I have a room in my home with all your childhood memories till this day because those were and still are some of the most precious moments of my life.
To all my new friends I have gained an