Marriage is good but you need God's favor and blessing to build a great marriage resilient enough to last a lifetime. Nothing good ever comes easy: blessings and burdens are soulmates. The road to well of happy and successful marriage passes through well of conflict, well of argument, well of persecution, well of opposition, well of temptation, well of obstacles. Expect joy and happiness, difficulties, trials and tribulations as you navigate the tortuous journey through all the changing scenes of life. Be determined to surmount all obstacles at all costs, and you will reap lots of fulfillment, rewards and blessings at the end of the tunnel. In order to build and grow a great marriage that will last a life time, couples need God's grace and mutual, unflinching commitment to their marital vows to navigate the long, exciting, tortuous, tumultuous, and mined road to a resilient, happy, lasting marriage: "to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance". Work together with intimacy, passion and commitment, build a Spirit-filled/Spirit-led marriage and the ultimate rewards are heavenly. Your partner is ridden with faults, so are you !! Look a little closer and you will see a large reservoir of assets that can be nurtured, (with your help, understanding and support) to bring out the best in your partner. When God created Eve, He did not set out to create another Adam, (otherwise He would have molded her in clay), rather, He created a partner to compensate for Adam's deficiencies and make up for what he lacked. He wanted to create something different, yet equally a masterpiece. Clearly, Eve was deliberately designed for different tasks which require patience, resilience, multi-tasking capabilities, and many other assets that she would need to cope with the onerous assignment of child-bearing and raising, and managing the home front while still contributing to the household economy. God gave Adam dominion over all His creations including his helper, but if He had thought that Adam could cope effectively, creation of Eve would not have been necessary. A good team is never made up of members with similar competence and instincts, and the last thing you want in marriage is another you. Unfortunately couples spend a lot of useful time and energy trying to re-mold their partners in their own image. Two magnets of the same polarity repel each other and compatibility means compatible opposites. Couples who are duplicates are boring, self-centered, bringing nothing new, exciting or innovative to the relationship. Marriage becomes great when couples can develop a partnership with shared family responsibilities, help to nurture each other's virtues and assets, adjust to and accommodate each other's deficiencies. Selfishness (I, me and myself) has no place in a great marriage. God appointed the husband as the head of the wife. However, headship does not imply authoritarianism (military governance). Leadership by competence and example commands respect and compliance. Headship is not so much authority expressed as a chain of commands as it is an acceptance of a vital chain of responsibilities. Key values in growing a resilient marriage include strong partnership, communication and conflict resolution skills, mutual respect, tolerance, empathy, perseverance, and willingness to meet each other's deepest needs. Marriage is a lifetime project, for better for worse but, often, the worse comes before the better and only perseverance gets you to the better.
