Sexual, physical, and psychological trauma consumed my childhood and much of my adult life. The abuse was chronic, most often violent. My parents were my abusers; I describe how their upbringing affected mine. The abuse began when I was just a toddler. After years of traumatic sexual abuse, I lived my life in the, "Third Person," as if I were on the outside looking in. Two-thirds of my own life story, I tell from an emotionally charged, but physically detached perspective. Finally, I personally relate the last third of my life after having recovered my own memories. Mental dissociation, or multiple personalities, created the effects of "lost time and out of body" experiences. My own mind worked to protect my life. I was either unconscious of, or an ephemeral outside observer of the abuse. My mind developed a coping skill to protect from the pain and injuries inflicted on me. This defense mechanism became the strongest part of my self-preservation instincts, and indeed saved me from many life-threatening circumstances. As an adult, I lived without recollection of most of my life. However, the memories were there, protected by the aspects of my identity that held on to my sanity in a life of constant dysfunction and deliberate cruelty. The title "Every Fourth Girl," reflects the one out of every four female children who become the victim of sexual exploitation or abuse by the age of 18 years old. My story ultimately demonstrates the humanity and humility to transcend trauma and find a life of meaning and purpose.
About the Author: Linda Dell Moore spent her adult life raising two children of her own and working in human resources management. When Linda was 43 years old she experienced an extended dissociative episode during which she recovered the majority of her lost memories. After suffering for years under the knowledge of her traumatic life and losing all of her family relationships to confrontation or estrangement. Linda's mental health was on the verge of suicide. She ended up hospitalized, in therapy, and on medication for the first time in her life. Slowly but surely over the next six months as an inpatient in New Horizons of the Treasure Coast, a mental health facility in Florida. Linda began to reclaim her sanity and her ability to relate to her loved ones. Now several years later Linda works as a Certified Recovery Peer Specialist in support, mentoring, and advocacy of peers with mental health and substance use issues. Many of her clients are recovering from their own life traumas and Linda's empathy and understanding of the experiences are helpful and healing. Linda has shared her life experience in her memoir "Every Fourth Girl" and is working on two mystery novels that have been created based on Linda's rich life experiences. Those titles are "Nicki Rose, Memoir of Murder," and "Killings on Laurel Lane."