It is an Easy Journey to Self Doubt.
I was desperate for answers of self identity and personal happiness to create a miraculous transformation. I committed to Change and had A Spiritual Awakening.
I hope my Story of Self discovery will help benefit others who are also searching for their Happiness. To Drop old habits and Embrace new paradigms of Living and Acceptance.
I recall my struggles and am grateful for my determination and focus on courage and now I find strength in other people's eyes and know that I am nEver a victim. Forgiving gives new paths for your own life in order to change course for our kids. We should come together when we are torn at our senses, to create a community of compassion for those seeking help. Being raised to live wholeheartedly. It is human nature to remember traumatic and painful occurrences in our life.
I have Remembered and Accepted my past and it was ALL A Beautiful EVOLution back to the Source, Love.
I began writing this book in September of 2013 for my two young sons, Holten and Davis. I needed a way to vent and bring alive events that had occurred and were still affecting my life. I found it to be My Therapy. Painting, writing how I felt daily, poems and photos of my life helped me to piece together my Hope.
It is easy to look at someOne like me and think that I probably have a simple and nice life. I definitely do Now.
I want to be an example of a woman, mother, friend, lover and human. I have been many labels but those were not ones that I carried in my past. I was a sexually abused child, cult member, a suicidal teen, a meth addict, a depressed adult, lost a fiance/best friend to addiction, a PTSD patient, a criminal, a Mental Health care patient, a fraud, and a manipulator.
Who would have Guessed?
To admit ALL this is embarrassing, essentially spilling my guts and being left completely exposed and vulnerable to my past. The reason I know that I have to speak out about my Journey is because I want to show that no matter what happens to you in YOUR past, IT will nEver determine who yoU are Now.
I am Now A Free Woman, Artist, Painter, Poet, Model, Friend, Daughter, Sister and Mother.
My Journey to these Titles all began to form when I started my Journey from Tacoma, Washington to Las Vegas, Nevada at the age of 17. I had attempted to overdose on pills a few months after my Uncle had shot himself in front of my family on January 1, 2000. I had graduated high school at 15, had two jobs, going to college and was depressed. I didn't die so I Ran Away, I forced myself to forget that prior Life.
The funny thing is, Is that You can nEver get Away from it.
I hope that My book is an example of the things you can accomplish in your own life. Finding yourself through your passion. Being an open, kind, and caring individual to all who enter into your life.
We all have Additions. I turned my addictions into therapy, to obsess over things that I can control and create. Freeing myself fully into painting, writing, learning, improving and cultivating myself daily. We each have things that excite and bring us joy, find them for yourself every single day.
Yesterday was a Gift. Today is a Miracle. Tomorrow is a Dream.