Ok, let's face facts; Donald Trump is larger than life. He's also a complete douchebag. But he's our douchebag! An American douchebag. A douchebag of the first order, with royal blood running through his hardened veins!
This is more than just an Adult Coloring book. Much more. At the heart of everything we do as humans we have politics. Whether or not we may follow the ups and downs of the presidential election, it's arguably the biggest and most revered election process in the world.
Sure, you may think that all of the candidates are talking heads, little more than poo-slinging puppets with the hands of their donors shoved so far up their collective backsides that you can actually see their fingers when the candidates talk . . . and you're probably correct to an extent.
The 'common man' doesn't run for president of the United States of America. And even those extremely idealistic patriots who may start down a long path of political idealism eventually find their hopes and ambitions eroded by the realities that a life of politics does.
This book will allow you to take out your frustrations, celebrate your victories, lament your defeats and share in the ups and downs of the election process. So without further ado, let's have a little fun.
Alright Donald, here we come. Prepare your image to be desecrated with all the colors in the $13.57 marker set I just bought.
About the Author: My name is Ploppie McCrapperson. I'm a normal poop, grew up in a good family. I'm 1/3 Corn and Peanut mixed, so sometimes I didn't really fit in. School was especially tough because nobody likes you when they see you have some corn in you. Kid's can be so cruel. But I rose above all that.
I've had some close calls. Once I got most of my face licked off by a Golden Retriever and I had to wait until he pooped me out again to put myself back together. Another time this crazy death row inmate tried to paint himself with me, looking for an insanity plea. As you can guess, that didn't go down too well with the guards. I had to collect myself in the sewer after 7 different guards were hosed off. What's worse, they all smelled like cologne, can you imagine!
As I matured I started becoming an adult and you might say I had been the ugly duckling that turned in to the swan. The ladies started looking at me a little differently and I could tell they liked what they were seeing. Not to brag, but I'm a good looking pile of feces. I always get mistaken for chocolate soft-serve ice cream. Me and my buddy used to go to McDonalds and hide in the ice cream cones just to mess with people. Don't worry, three or four licks in we would let the cat out of the bag. We would say, "Your breath stinks!" and just die laughing. Just two crazy pieces of crap having fun. But life was definitely looking up for me.
I worked my way through college at Assmore University. After that I studied Particle Toilet Physics at Harvard and got a degree in Business Law. But my real love was always coloring. Sure, I would leave a streak in a pair of underwear, or a smudge on a clean wall every now and then. People would say, "Ploppie, you're so talented," but I thought they were just being polite. I'm a pretty likable turd. My motto is, "I never met a butthole I didn't like!"
Anyway, a few years back I was working on a project for an oil company in Western Europe and I started coloring again. And what can I say . . . I was sucked back into the sphincter of life and crapped right out again with another chance. I decided that I was done with corporate life. That work didn't let me express my true artistic nature. I wanted to let my true Peanut & Corn shine through. So here we are, with my new book. I hope you'll join me on this crap-filled adventure into American Politics! Let's paint the country Brown!
- You can call me "Ploppie."
