ABASEMENT, n. A decent and customary mental attitude in the presence of wealth or power.Peculiarly appropriate in an employee when addressing an employer.ABATIS, n. Rubbish in front of a fort, to prevent the rubbish outside from molesting the rubbishinside.ABDICATION, n. An act whereby a sovereign attests his sense of the high temperature of thethrone.Poor Isabella's Dead, whose abdicationSet all tongues wagging in the Spanish nation.For that performance 'twere unfair to scold her: She wisely left a throne too hot to hold her.To History she'll be no royal riddle-Merely a plain parched pea that jumped the griddle.G.J.ABDOMEN, n. The temple of the god Stomach, in whose worship, with sacrificial rights, all truemen engage. From women this ancient faith commands but a stammering assent. They sometimesminister at the altar in a half-hearted and ineffective way, but true reverence for the one deity thatmen really adore they know not. If woman had a free hand in the world's marketing the race wouldbecome graminivorous.ABILITY, n. The natural equipment to accomplish some small part of the meaner ambitionsdistinguishing able men from dead ones. In the last analysis ability is commonly found to consistmainly in a high degree of solemnity. Perhaps, however, this impressive quality is rightly appraised; itis no easy task to be solemn.ABNORMAL, adj. Not conforming to standard. In matters of thought and conduct, to beindependent is to be abnormal, to be abnormal is to be detested. Wherefore the lexicographeradviseth a striving toward the straiter [sic] resemblance of the Average Man than he hath to himself.Whoso attaineth thereto shall have peace, the prospect of death and the hope of Hell.ABORIGINIES, n. Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discoveredcountry. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.ABRACADABRA.By Abracadabra we signifyAn infinite number of things.'Tis the answer to What? and How? and Why?And Whence? and Whither?-a word wherebyThe Truth (with the comfort it brings)Is open to all who grope in night, Crying for Wisdom's holy light.Whether the word is a verb or a nounIs knowledge beyond my reach.I only know that 'tis handed down.From sage to sage, From age to age-An immortal part of speech!Of an ancient man the tale is toldThat he lived to be ten centuries old, In a cave on a mountain side.(True, he finally died.)The fame of his wisdom filled the land, For his head was bald, and you'll understandHis beard was long and whiteAnd his eyes uncommonly bright.Philosophers gathered from far and nearTo sit at his feet and hear and hear, Though he never was heardTo utter a wordBut "Abracadabra, abracadab, Abracada, abracad, Abraca, abrac, abra, ab!"'Twas all he had, 'Twas all they wanted to hear, and eachMade copious notes of the mystical speech, Which they published next-A trickle of textIn a meadow of commentary.Mighty big books were these, In number, as leaves of trees;In learning, remarkable-very!He's dead, As I said, And the books of the sages have perished, But his wisdom is sacredly cherished.In Abracadabra it solemnly rings, Like an ancient bell that forever swings.O, I love to hearThat word make clearHumanity's General Sense of Things.Jamrach HolobomABRIDGE, v.t. To shorten.When in the course of human events it becomes necessary forpeople to abridge their king, a decent respect for the opinions ofmankind requires that they should declare the causes which impelthem to the separa