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Cómo ser feliz un domingo por la tarde: Una novela de humor y muerte

Cómo ser feliz un domingo por la tarde: Una novela de humor y muerte

          
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About the Book

¡CUIDADO! ¡ESTE LIBRO CONTIENE FELICIDAD!

"Doña Gwendolyne sabe que cada día puede ser el último, y nunca sale de casa sin practicar su cara de muerta en el espejo:

-Tiene que salir bien a la primera, Lali. No me pienso morir dos veces.
-No hace falta que me lo recuerdes todos los días.
-Acuérdate: la tapa abierta y la boca cerrada.
-Jesús bendito, ¿por qué a mí?
-Y me pones la peluca de los domingos, la que va con...
-Ya, ya... con las perlas buenas y el vestido azul, me lo has dicho cuarenta veces.
-Yo solo quiero ser feliz, Lali.
-¿Y quién te lo impide?
-Yo misma, me temo. No me da la gana morirme con cara de boba.
-Se llama rictus.
-¡A mí la boca me la cierras!
-Creo que en la funeraria hay profesionales que se encargan de esos detalles; te dejan hecha un pincel.
-No me fío. Prefiero que lo hagas tú. Te recuerdo que es tu obligación como hermana. Una de tantas.
-¿Dónde lo pone?
-No me hace ninguna gracia que un extraño me hurgue en la boca. Bastante mal lo paso en el dentista. ¿No le vas a hacer un último favor a tu hermana moribunda?
-No te estás muriendo, no te pongas dramática.
-¿Me has visto acaso cara de inmortal?
-Estás demasiado bien para como podrías estar.
-¿Y ese forúnculo con tan mala pinta? ¿Por qué no se va? Sigue ahí. ¿Qué quiere de mí?
-Es una almorrana.
-¿Cómo puedes estar tan segura? ¿Y si es una fístula? ¿Un quiste fuera de control? ¿Un castigo del Señor?
-Tienes que tomar más fibra y darte baños de asiento. Y deja al Señor en paz, que lo metes en todo al pobre.
-Hoy la noto más grande que ayer pero menos que mañana. Y más durita. No me gusta. Tiene que tratarse de otra cosa.
-Te repito que es una almorrana, ya deberías saber reconocerlas.
-Cuando llegue el momento, aseguraos de que estoy muerta del todo. Bien muerta y rematada, ¡muertísima!
-¿Y no crees que si me dan el certificado de defunción vas a estar muerta?
-No es lo mismo estar muerta que muerta-muerta. Sin billete de vuelta. Muerta del todo.
-Una cosa te voy a decir, Gwendo: si te vas, ¡ni se te ocurra volver! Las cosas se hacen bien o no se hacen.
-Bueno, pero tú por si acaso me pellizcas el dedo gordo del pie, pero pellízcame fuerte, que si llevo doble calcetín a lo mejor ni me entero.
-Antes me has dicho que querías zapato cerrado, aclárate.
-Pues me quitas uno. Mejor el derecho, que tengo menos juanetes.
-No te pienso quitar un zapato. Los muertos tenéis los pies fríos y petrificados.
-¡Lali! No quiero que me enterréis viva, pero tampoco con un zapato sí y otro no. ¿Qué imagen voy a dar? Y acuérdate de ponerme el collar de perlas. Y doble calcetín".


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Product Details
  • ISBN-13: 9798813969676
  • Publisher: Independently Published
  • Binding: Paperback
  • Language: Spanish
  • Returnable: N
  • Sub Title: Una novela de humor y muerte
  • Width: 152 mm
  • ISBN-10: 8813969678
  • Publisher Date: 11 May 2022
  • Height: 229 mm
  • No of Pages: 382
  • Spine Width: 22 mm
  • Weight: 562 gr


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