"Broken Pencils" by Thom Ramus is an emotionally resonant and thought-provoking novel that explores the intricate psychological landscape of Alejandro, an art teacher living a double life. Set in the 1980s, a time when societal norms were rigid and unforgiving, Alejandro battles between the polished, perfect image he presents to the world and the intense anxiety and repression simmering beneath the surface. His outward life is that of a model professional-calm, composed, and in control-yet inside, he is consumed by self-doubt, unresolved identity struggles, and the suffocating pressure to conform to societal expectations of masculinity and perfection.
The narrative of "Broken Pencils" beautifully balances subtle moments of introspection with an acute sense of tension, making Alejandro's internal turmoil both palpable and relatable. Ramus deftly uses small, seemingly insignificant objects-like the titular chewed pencil-to symbolize the fragility of control in Alejandro's life, offering readers a powerful metaphor for the weight of unspoken struggles. Alejandro's habit of biting down on pencils becomes a vivid expression of the emotional weight he carries, as his quiet desperation finds release in these minor acts of rebellion against the mask he wears for the outside world.
Reminiscent of James Baldwin's "Giovanni's Room" and Michael Cunningham's "The Hours", "Broken Pencils" explores the themes of hidden identities, societal pressures, and the emotional cost of living a life that denies one's true self. Much like Baldwin's poignant portrayal of internalized conflict in a world that doesn't allow men to express their vulnerability, Ramus captures the quiet agony of Alejandro's existence. Similarly, in the way that "The Hours" delves into the inner lives of its characters-examining how small, daily decisions carry profound emotional consequences-"Broken Pencils" offers a deeply personal narrative that unfolds in quiet, powerful moments.
Thom Ramus is known for his careful exploration of emotional depth, and here, he delivers a gripping portrayal of the cost of repression and the human desire for authenticity. Alejandro's struggle with his hidden desires, fears, and anxieties mirrors the experiences of many who live under the constant pressure to conform. As he navigates the complexities of identity in an unforgiving social environment, the tension between his public life and inner self intensifies, forcing him to reckon with the life he's been living.
Fans of "Call Me by Your Name" by André Aciman or "A Little Life" by Hanya Yanagihara will appreciate Ramus' ability to weave rich, introspective prose with themes of identity, self-acceptance, and the intricate dance between personal freedom and societal judgment. "Broken Pencils" captures the essence of a man caught between two worlds: the one he has constructed to meet society's demands and the one he secretly yearns to inhabit. As Alejandro's carefully built world begins to crumble, readers are drawn into a poignant exploration of the price we pay for hiding our true selves.
