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The Bad Boy at Home and His Experiences in Trying to Become an Editor 1885

The Bad Boy at Home and His Experiences in Trying to Become an Editor 1885

          
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About the Book

CHAPTER I. WHY HE CHEWSES A PERFESSHUN.-HYFALUTIN PROLOG, WITH SUMBARE POSSIBILITIES.-PROSPECTUS OF THE DAILY BUSTER. Mister Diry: Ive been intending ever since I got home from Yourope, to begin ritin in a diry, but I aint had no time, cos my chum Jimmy and me has been puttin in our days havin fun. Ive got to give all that sorter thing up now, cos Ive accepted a persisshun in a onherabel perfesshun, and wen I get to be a man, and reech the top rung of the ladder, Im goin to mak New York howl. Pa, he wanted me to go to skule, but I culdnt see it a tall, cos a feller wots alwus goin to skule dont never kno nothin but base-ballin and prize fitin wen he gets thru. All them fellers wot rite in dirys begin by usin a lot of hyfalutin wurds wot sound orful big but dont meen nothin; so I guess Ill be in the fashun, so here goes: Youre only a quire of common noose paper, Mr. Diry, so you neednt put on so menny airs over your cleen wite dress, wot only needs a morocker lether mantel and gilt braceletts to make you look like you blonged to the Astor house dude. We all know you was maid of rags, and them rags might once have bean in the mazey, lacey laberinths of wite linnin wot audashusly pressed gainst the tender form of Lillyan, the dudine. If you warnt there you mite have ben all ablaze with chane stitches and crushed oniyun stripes, closely incircling a cupple of been-poles-no, not eggsactly been-poles, but the sharpley, shadderly lower lims of Sarah Jane Burnhard, the actress wot got mashed on Dam-all-her. Then, agen, you mite have ben on some infantile prospecktive Preserdent, but you didnt stay on him long, cos babys and safety-pins maid you tired. Enyway youve got a histery, cos them littel black spots on your rite bussum looks like they mite wunce hav ben part of Mrs. Dr. Walkers patent backackshun, maskuline, dress-reform trowsers, wot she sent to the paper-mill to get ground up inter paper to mak books for the enlitenin of the wimmin of our country. Hows that for high, Mr. Diry? My muse come playguey neer running away with me, so I had to wistle down brakes, and slow her up. Now Ill begin to record my doins on your pages, so that, shuld the toes of my boots be applide to the patent bucket early in my useful carreer, the hull wurldll kno wot a treassure socieaty has lost. I aint givin you eny biled lasses candie, but dont you let your memmerizin orgins lose site of the fact that I, Georgie, the Bad Boy wots ben to Yourope, aint no slouch. My pa sez Im a geneyus. I guess hes bout rite, ony he orter sed I was a buddin one, cos my hankerin after a perfeshunal carrieer has led me to axcept a posishun in the publick-opinyun-moldin shop wots known as the Daily Buster, Joe Gilley, edittur and proprieat-her. Subskripshun price, $5 per yare. No trubbel to sine receits. N.B.-Speshell arrangements with ex-Senater Satan enabels us to give our delinkent subskribers cheap excurshun rates to the Hot Sulfur Baths, via the Haydies Short Line, our fitin edit-her corndoctor....


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Product Details
  • ISBN-13: 9781547196661
  • Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
  • Binding: Paperback
  • Language: English
  • Returnable: N
  • Width: 152 mm
  • ISBN-10: 1547196661
  • Publisher Date: 06 Jun 2017
  • Height: 229 mm
  • No of Pages: 150
  • Weight: 0 gr

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