How to use the Animals are Dicks Coloring Book...
[UNCENSORED Edition] - That means it's full of
Swear Words, Curse Words, Profanity and a ton of other vulgar shit. You've been warned!
This is a coloring book devoted to each and every one of us. We can all use a good giggle every now and then, so this is how we can do it in a fun way! Renew your love of animals and coloring with this fun journey through the forest with some funny, often thought provoking phrases and quotes along the way. Animals can really be dicks. Every time some fish jumps out of a boat and hits a fisherman, or a bird purposely takes a dump on your newly washed car . . . you know it's not accidental.
For every cute kitten's glance there is a sinister cat lurking in the shadows, peeing and smearing little cat turds all over the house. For every wonderful puppy, there is some stinky little bastard sliding across your carpet with their smelly ass leaving a trail. So we thought we would take you inside the mind of the animal kingdom!
We guarantee you . . . you've never shared the joy of animals quite like this.
This book has been a collaborative effort between artists, designers, and psychologists. This book not only soothes you, but also increases mental stimulation. The pictures and designs may seem random at first glance, but they're anything but. We also added some really cool coloring pages that are just for you to zone out after reading our madness. We think you'll love the designs and create some incredible pieces of art!
Our idea with this project was to both inspire you, and increase neuronal activity and stimulation in a way that activates very unique parts of your mind. There are fields of research suggesting that both children and adults who work with coloring books and designs can effectively raise their IQ.
So have fun, relax, let the markers and pens do what they will, and hang on for an incredible, mind altering ride! We hope to give the designer (you) a very introspective and mind expanding experience.
To help you bring your full art and color to life, we've left the outlines slightly gray instead of harsh black. Your ideas and the beauty you create are more important than the original designs. This is for you!
MARKER NOTE:
If you feel like using markers, we suggest Staedtler Triplus Fineliner marker pens. They're easy to use and are very good when it comes to bleeding issues. We've chosen a paper that we feel offers the best compromise between durability and brightness so that your ideas come to life without being encumbered by the paper.
-Also, place a piece of white paper underneath your current pages to soak up any extra ink! Depending on the markets you choose, there may be a little bleed through. The piece of extra paper will also assist you in leaving just the right amount of color on the current page you're working on.
-PLEASE SHARE your work with us. Simply go to Amazon and leave a review and it will allow you to post your own pictures! We want to see what you've got. And each week we will choose one of the images as our best in class and you'll receive one of our new coloring books absolutely FREE! Just color, Post, and win!
About the Author: Cynthia Van Edwards
Born in Oklahoma, with fierce Comanche blood in her veins, Cynthia Van Edwards spent hours and hours as a young girl riding horses and drawing. She found herself guiding towards arts programs and psychology in college, attending Northwestern University, where she graduated with honors.
She began a career that started in counseling for children that were having learning issues in school. She eventually began working with adults who were suffering attention deficit issues and began thinking of ways to inspire people through artwork.
Cynthia has met many people along her journey, including a douche bag ex-husband named Robert. Robert is a self-absorbed piece of trash . . . and he can be thanked for the motivation in forming this book. Robert, if you're reading this, you should know that you probably have herpes. And by probably I mean 100%. Cheers.
