Ann Kolsrud began her life in an insidious darkness under the roof of absent, neglectful parents, and struggles with her own inadequacies to make friends and be a part of society. After having to drop out of both high school and college due to mental illness, she stops moving forward until she begins a sexual relationship with her psychiatrist. Suddenly, she is living a life of riches as well as lies. Disgusted by the perversions she is forced (and paid) to endure, Ann seeks an escape and finds herself in a relationship with a woman whom she loves, though she is still dependent financially and emotionally upon the psychiatrist-lover, a relationship that drives her back to a world of insanity. Eventually, she leaves the psychiatrist and is helped by a new miracle drug, but after a small amount of success, the drug began to cause crippling arthritis and seizures. During this time she is told that her physical problems are all in her head. Taking it upon herself to make a change in medications, Ann slowly begins to die, not only from the physical but mental illnesses which continue to consume her. After reaching her lowest point -- which include debilitating medications and electric convulsive therapy, Ann is put onto new medication which finally allows her to surface from years of physical and mental suffering. She now is very much alive, working, cultivating friendships, and going back to college. She loves life and is full of energy and self-motivation. The downside to this new miracle drug, however, is that it has a side effect of causing heart problems that could potentially kill her at any moment. But Ann decides to live her life to the fullest, making her life rich by helping others with their lives. The hopeful lessons learned from her long struggle -- including the need to persevere in finding the right professional help and correct medications -- are instructive to anyone who suffers from mental illness.
About the Author: Ann Kolsrud has struggled with mental illness most of her life. At the age of forty-five she finds a medicine which can give her the normalcy for which she has hungered. With this new medicine she finds herself picking up the pieces of a life lost. With this new medicine, she is currently attending the University of Iowa. She is majoring in Linguistics with a writing certificate. However, she plans to work in advocacy when she graduates. While promoting awareness of mental health issues, she understands the importance of equal opportunities for all disabilities. As for her love life, she is single, stating, "No one seems to be able to get past my diagnosis and appreciate the loving, passionate woman that I am." Ann continues to move forward taking her service dog "Turner" with her. "I have him for many reasons," she says. "But I simply say, ' he just makes me feel better." As for her parents, Ann believes that she is in a good place with them. Although over the years life has been very difficult with them, Ann realizes that they simply have done their best. "I got to love them for trying," she states. In summing it up, it is Ann's hope that she has successfully conveyed the plight of the mentally ill. "I will not feel satisfied with my work until one person can come up to me and say, 'I understand." In all, Ann says she wrote the book for herself but then she adds, "I published it for the world!"