The discovery of your partner's cheating shatters the very core of your being. It's difficult to value and to allow our grieving, our anger, our rage, even our shame, the time and space to move us into a deeper life. We're supposed to just get over it, and move on. Anger is not nice, causes trouble, and grieving is a bummer. Yet it is natural and healthy to feel angry when violated, and to grieve our disappointments and our losses. Virtually every one of us has been, or will be, in some way touched by infidelity. Why is this happening? How can we make good of these experiences in our individual lives? And how might we avoid--or heal from--the trauma of infidelity in our own relationships? Callander writes as a woman who has both betrayed and been betrayed. The voices of other women who have travelled this road join her in this unique and intimate exploration of the many faces of infidelity. Polls show that around 85% of people believe infidelity is wrong. More than 90% of married individuals do not approve of extramarital sex, and yet almost half admit to having had an affair. What drives this dichotomy between what we say we should do and what we do? This book offers understanding and new perspectives for reflection, dialogue, hope and healing.
About the Author: Meryn Callander was born in Portland, Australia, in 1952. She graduated from Monash University, Melbourne, with degrees in both economics and social work. At 25, she quit her position working with children in crisis, feeling she was doing little but applying Band-Aids to gaping wounds. Searching for that illusive something more, she headed to Europe, and then the U.S. It was there she met John W. Travis, M.D., known to many as the founding father of wellness. Their marriage and professional partnership spanned almost three decades, during which time they pushed the leading edges of wellness-going well beyond the popular focus on nutrition and physical fitness, into the mental and emotional, interpersonal and spiritual dimensions of wellbeing. They co-authored several pioneering books on wellness, and facilitated seminars and retreats in the U.S. and internationally. In 1993, Meryn became a mother. After decades of working in adult wellness, she gleaned a whole new appreciation of how profoundly our early years impact the wellbeing of the adults we become. In 1999 she co-founded, and served for several years as president of, the Alliance for Transforming the Lives of Children. The Alliance emerged from a core group of interdisciplinary experts dedicated to supporting caregivers, professionals, and policymakers in practicing the art and science of nurturing children. Why Dads Leave: Insights and Resources for When Partners Become Parents (whydadsleave.com) grew out of their journey through the early years of parenting. While John stayed well beyond the challenges of those early years, their experiences compelled her to identify the dynamics underlying the epidemic of men leaving their families-physically or emotionally-soon after the birth of a child, and how couples can grow together rather than apart. The book offers insights and practical ways of preventing the devastating impact of this dynamic. Her latest book, After His Affair: Women Rising from the Ashes of Infidelity is a reflection of her concern at the escalating rates of infidelity and the devastation that is left in its wake. How can we, as women, make good of our heartbreak? And how might we avoid-or heal from-the trauma of infidelity? Meryn is a counselor, spiritual intuitive, and akashic reader.